


The Lost Souls

by daretoliveforever



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Cutting, Death, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Murder, Suicide, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-27 11:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daretoliveforever/pseuds/daretoliveforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is unique. He receives visions. Most people would think this is a gift. But Zayn thinks it’s a living Hell. He sees people having their lives taken away from them. Either by themselves, or others. The worst part is Zayn doesn’t know what to do. How can he help people when he’s only seen them in the visions?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is short, but the actual chapters are much longer. Promise!

The visions started when I was about 3 years old. I don’t know why they began, but they haven’t stopped. I’m 19 now and if anything, they’ve gotten worse. I hate them. They cause me so much pain. Not physical pain, it feels like a tingling sensation on the back of my eyes, nothing too bad. What bothers me is the emotional pain. I can’t escape it. I try to stop the visions whenever I feel the familiar sensation, but it never works. I always get sucked into the darkness, waiting for the horror to start.

My name is Zayn. I have visions of people losing their lives.

I see people take their own lives almost every day. It’s always the same. Usually drugs, sharp objects, hanging, bullets, or jumping. But the ones that I hate the most are the people whose lives are taken from them. The ones who are murdered.

The worse part of all of this is, knowing I can’t do anything to help. I don’t know who they are. I’ve never seen these people in my life. I feel helpless. I want so desperately to help. I want to find these people and stop them from taking their lives, or getting to them before they are killed.

I don’t know when these deaths occur. I don’t know if they are past events, or if it happens the same moment I receive the visions. I always hoped that they would happen after I received them, then I could try to find them, and save them.

That still hasn’t happened. I still don’t know who any of the people are.

Around aged 6 I took up drawing. I would draw the faces of the people I see. I did this in hopes that I would be able to place a name to them. In a way of remembrance I guess. If I can’t save them, then I want them to be remembered. I draw them moments after a vision has ended, when they are still fresh in my mind. I write what happens to the person on the back of the drawing. Maybe if I can find who they are one day, then maybe I can help the family by telling them what happened. Especially for those that were murdered. I have hundreds of drawings. That means that hundreds of people have died, while I watched them die, helpless.

I’ve only ever seen the people once. I see them once and then they are gone. Forever.

They are lost souls.

 


	2. Chapter 2

I can feel the creeping sensation of a vision coming on. There is a slight flutter on the back of my eyes and my vision is darkening around the edges. I’m being sucked deeper into the darkness. As my vision gives out completely, a new image begins to unfold before me.

_I see a bathroom. Blue tiled walls, a standalone sink, a toilet and a bathtub tucked up against the wall. I didn’t see anything unusual about this room; most of the bathrooms I’ve seen during the visions have all been the same. But I couldn’t shake the idea that I’ve seen this room before. I’ve seen this same bathroom. But where?_

_A squealing child brought my attention back onto the matter at hand. That’s when a woman walked into the room. Her back was turned toward me, but I could see that she was holding a squirming child. She leaned down and started the bath, filling the tube with the clear liquid. She was still holding the child, who was starting to settle down._

_Once the tub was full, the woman shut the water off and placed the child, fully clothed, into the tub. I finally caught a glimpse at the child._

_Horror ran throughout me when I saw the child._

_I know her. Her name is Emmy. She’s my neighbor. I babysit her often. That’s why the bathroom looked familiar. But why is she here? Why is she in this vision? She shouldn’t be here. This doesn’t make any sense._

_She was wearing a violet, polka dotted dress with her hair pulled back in pigtails. She looked happy, but confused as her mother placed her in the tub with her clothes still on._

_My stomach was churning with nausea. My head was throbbing as I tried to make sense of this._

_Her mother shoved her head under the water._

_I wanted to scream. I wanted to do something. I can’t let her die. She is too young. This can’t be happening._

I was jerked out of the vision with such force that I fell out of my chair.

I was in the middle of class. The other students turned to look at me. They started laughing. _Shocker_. In their eyes, I was nothing but an emotional loner who didn’t want to associate with anyone. I was the one who was always being picked on. They think I’m weird. And in all actuality, I am, but how normal can I be when I see people lose their lives daily. I’d like to see them in my position.

I was in a cold sweat. This vision was too much. Out of all the visions I’ve had in my life, this is the first one to ever hit so close to home.

I stood up, grabbed all my things, and sprinted out the door not caring about the rest of class.

I ran home. I ran as fast as I possibly could. Emmy can’t be dead. She just can’t. I saw her this morning, so maybe she isn’t. Maybe this vision is something that will happen in the future. Or maybe it’s my mind screwing with me. Either way, I need to make sure she is alive.

I just turned the corner onto my street when I broke out into an all out sprint.

By the time I reached her house, I was completely out of breath. I stopped for a minute to compose myself enough to breathe without the burning in my lungs. I walked up the narrow pathway to the house. I was terrified. I sent a silent prayer that Emmy would be alright. That she would be alive.

I knocked on the front door. A minute later it opened to reveal Emmy’s mother.

“Hi Ms. Wilkerson, is Emmy here?” I asked tentatively. It sounded weird that I was asking to see my 4 year old neighbor in the middle of the day when I was supposed to be at school.

Ms. Wilkerson smiled at me. She turned around and said something into the small living room that was offset the front door.

A few seconds later, Emmy’s head popped out from behind her mum’s legs. She let out an all-too-familiar squeal and launched herself into my arms.

“Zaynie!” she said to me. I giggled at her nickname for me. I was just relieved that she was alright.

“Hey there munchkin.” I bent down to pick her up. She tossed her small arms around my neck, burrowing her head into my shoulder.

“Zayn.” Ms. Wilkerson said “why aren’t you in school?”

I looked up to the slender women; I couldn’t meet her eye, not with the knowledge of what she was going to do, or what I think she will do.

“I wasn’t feeling too well; I’ve got a bad headache is all. But I stopped by to see if you needed me to babysit Emmy sometime soon.” I told her lying through my teeth.

“I’m not sure yet, but I will let you know when I do.” She said giving me a sweet smile.

I nodded my head in response. I looked at Emmy who was still leaning into my shoulder. I whispered into her ear that I would see her later and to be a good girl for her mummy. She nodded and gave me a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek before I set her down.

“I’ll see you later then”

I walked the few feet to my house. I had to take note of what I saw. I have to be ready.

I’m going to save Emmy.

~*~

I sat and waited. I watched Emmy’s house every day. I was waiting for the day I saw her in the polka dotted dress. The day that I saw her in the dress was the day my life started turning into a living Hell.

I was walking out of my house, on my way to school when I turned to look at Emmy’s house. I stopped dead in my tracks. My stomach started to churn with nausea. Emmy was standing on the front step of her house, wearing the dress that has haunted my thoughts for the past 2 weeks. She sat down on porch and looked out at the street. Her eyes landed on mine and she smiled her sweet smile and waved.

I waved back.

My arms felt like lead. My body was numb. She looked just as she did in the vision. I _knew_ that today her mother would try to kill her.

I wasn’t about to let that happen.

I turned back towards my house. I wasn’t going anywhere today. I’m going to be here, I’m going to wait and watch. I’m going to save Emmy’s life. I can’t let her die.

I don’t know when it will happen. I just hope that I don’t screw this up.

Emmy was playing in the small yard in the front of her house all day. She was just having a grand time, playing with dolls and flowers and the occasional bug. It was a sight to see. She was so innocent. I can’t understand what happened or what would _want_ to make her mother harm her. I was sitting in one of the rooms that looked out to her yard. I know it’s weird and something a creeper would do, but I’m doing it for a good reason.

I started to drift to sleep. Nothing has been happening for hours. I was starting to think that maybe it’s just my mind screwing with me, but then Ms. Wilkerson walked out and called Emmy in for a bath. I shoot out of my seat.

Her mother wasn’t going to give her a bath; she was going to end her daughter’s life. I knew that, even if Emmy didn’t.

She looked the same in the vision as she does now.

Emmy looked up at her mother with a pout. They were having a conversation that I couldn’t hear. Her mother walked out onto the porch and picked Emmy up. Like in the vision, Emmy started to squirm in her mother’s arms, not wanting to take a bath.

Once they were both back into the house, I grabbed my phone and ran out the door.

I practically ran up the steps of my neighbor’s house. I checked the door knob hoping that it was left unlocked. It turned and opened a crack.

I let out a breath that I had been holding. I peeked into the house. The room was empty. I could hear Emmy’s squeals from down the hall.

I could also hear the running bath tub.

I walked inside and dialed my phone, not yet calling the emergency number, but to have it ready. I walked closer to the bathroom.

The water shut off. Emmy was quiet. So was her mother.

Then I heard splashing. It sounded like splashing water, it was Emmy flailing about in the bath, smacking at the water, trying desperately to get out.

I looked into the room.

Ms. Wilkerson was hunched over the tub. She was holding Emmy’s head under.

Something came over me, I’m not sure if it was determination to protect Emmy or some unknown strength I actually had. I burst through the door. Ms. Wilkerson whipped around her eyes filled with rage. I screamed for her to stop. I grabbed her and pulled her away from the bath. She was stronger than she looked. She was fighting back. She was clawing and punching at me. I did something I never thought I’d do; I punched her with as much force as I could muster. Luckily it was enough. It knocked her out cold. She went slack under my grip.

I was breathing heavily; my hand was aching from the punch.

Then I remembered that Emmy hasn’t made a noise since I came in. I looked over at the tub; she was still submerged under the water.

I ran to the tub and pulled her out. She was turning blue. I laid her onto the floor and started CPR on her, hoping that it was enough to save her, or at least enough for her to hold on until the paramedics arrived.

She let out a cough, sputtering out some water that made itself into her throat. She was alive.

I called 999.

After what seemed like an eternity, the paramedics and police arrived. I gave my account to the police of what happened. They thanked me for saving her.

Ms. Wilkerson was taken to the hospital to be checked out for the punch I gave her. But would later be taken to prison for attempted murder.

I rode with Emmy to the hospital. She was improving already. They managed to get the fluid out of her lungs, now they were taking her to check for any other damage that may have occurred.

~*~

Once Emmy was given the all clear, I was allowed to sit in with her. She looked small and frail lying on the oversized hospital bed. I grabbed her small hand as I sat down into the chair beside the bed.

The hospital had called her father soon after we arrived. When he finally arrived, he was frantic. He was hysterical. When he came into the room, he rushed to Emmy’s side.

“Oh Emmy what happened?” Emmy’s father asked with a whisper knowing he wasn’t going to get a response from his daughter.

He jumped at the sound of my voice when I said “Your ex-wife tried to drown her.”

He looked at me with such pain in his eyes that I had to look away. It was horrible what Ms. Wilkerson did. She hurt not only Emmy, but Emmy’s father as well.

“What happened, Zayn?” He asked. I was surprised that he remembered who I was. He left soon after Emmy was born, but would often come by to visit.

I retold the story.

The hurt was clear as day in his eyes. At some point, he had started to cry. He stood up and walked over to where I was sitting. He gathered me into a hug.

“Thank you Zayn. Thank you so much for saving my daughter.” He whispered to me.

Once he let me go, I told him that I’d leave him to his daughter. I left the room knowing that I finally did something right.

I finally saved a life.

~*~

A few days passed since Emmy almost died by the hand of her mother. The news had a field day with everything. The people in my class were astounded at what I did. And the best of it all, I hadn’t had a vision since then.

I was starting to think that maybe by saving Emmy; maybe the visions would stop altogether. But I was wrong.

I was getting ready for school one day when I felt the familiar sensation at the back of my eyes.

I sighed. I knew it was too good to be true. I had to face facts that I was stuck with these horrid visions for the rest of eternity.

I sat down on my bed, preparing for the impending vision.

I was dragged into the darkness.

_I saw a bedroom. The walls were either a deep red or blue. A bed, a couch, and a desk were all in the room. Clothes were scattered about. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. It was a typical teenager’s room._

_I saw an Irish flag on one of the walls. That must mean that the person was in Ireland somewhere. Right?_

_A boy walked into the room. He looked to be about my age. He had dyed blond hair, baggy trousers, dark red sweat hoodie, Supra shoes and a set of Beats headphones resting around the person’s neck._

_He sat down on his bed. He was staring at the ground. There was something in his hands. I couldn’t tell what, but based on past visions, it was probably a bottle of pills._

_He took the object he was holding and opened it. It_ was _a pill bottle. He dumped the whole bottle into his hand._

_He held onto the pills, not taking them but not putting them back. He whipped at the side of his eye as a tear trickled down his cheek._

_Someone started shouting in the background._

_The boy looked up._

_I saw his eyes. He had the deepest blue eyes I have ever seen. I could see he was broken. Deep in his eyes, he truly was a lost soul._

_He looked down at his hand holding the pills. Without a second thought, he downed all of them._

_He placed the headphones onto his head. He leaned back onto his bed and shut his eyes._

When I was pulled back out of the vision, there were tears in my eyes.

How am I supposed to save someone from another country?

I grabbed my sketchbook and began to draw everything I saw. I wrote exactly what happened. I needed to remember. I want to help him. But how? 


	3. Chapter 3

Placing names to invisible faces is tougher than it seems.

Not longer after the incident with Emmy and her mother, I took up my search again to find the people from my past visions. It was a long tedious task, but I was determined to find out who these people were. I began the search with the newest visions I had had. Throughout the years that I’ve been cursed with these visions, I’ve been able to recall more afterwards, therefore I’ve been more descriptive about what happened in my notes, and the sketches of the people have become clearer. So, I figured might as well work my way back.

The first person I set out to find was a man in about his late thirties. He was on the tall side, thin build, glasses, rough beard. He was one of the people that committed suicide. I can still remember the vision, it happened while I was sitting in English class. The poor soul, he felt uncared for, he had left a note which is how I knew that he felt that way. He took a deadly concoction of pills and alcohol causing him to slip into death peacefully.

Sitting in front of my laptop on a chilly, rainy Friday evening, I began the search. His death had taken place a mere month ago, I think, so any information should be recent. I had no clue as to where to begin the search.

Turning on the internet, I opened up Google. After thinking about it for a moment, I typed in ‘Public death records’ into the search engine. 121 million results popped up. I clicked on the first link shown, being directed to a website where it asked for the first and last name of the person. I don’t even know who these people are so that won’t help. I clicked on a few more websites before trying ‘public death obituaries’ this time 393 million results.

One of the websites offered a massive database of death notices. I entered the date into the search, assuming that it was the same amount of time that passed from the time of the vision to death as did with Emmy’s. 1,354 deaths occurred on that day. Sighing, I began looking through the obituary notices.

After 3 hours of looking at death notices, I finally found him. His name was Andrew Thompson. Reading the death notice, I could tell just how much his family loved him. If only he had known that before he took the drugs. I jotted down the date and his name onto the drawing and attached the notice to it as well.

It was a start, but I was finally putting names to the lost souls.

~*~

I spent the rest of my weekend looking for the other people I’ve seen. Luckily, I was able to find 11 more people. Each time I found the name of the person, I would feel a mix of sorrow, but happiness that I’ve finally found them.

I noticed a trend among the visions and the time of the deaths. There was about a two week period between the vision and the actual occurrence. This can help with future visions.

It was late on Sunday; my brain was totally fried from staring at the computer screen all weekend. Nothing a good cuppa can’t help. I stood up from the sofa, stretched out my limbs and walked into the warm kitchen. I got a mug and a couple tea bags out; I set the tea kettle on the stove to heat the water. I don’t know what happened exactly, all I know was I was waiting for the water to heat, the next moment I was on the floor, my eyes clouded in darkness as a vision crept into my line of sight.

_It was bright out where ever I was at. I could see cars parked in the lot off to my right, and a school building to my left. I noted the name of the school, hoping that this can lead me to whatever death happens here. I watched as a boy walked out of the building, still clutching onto textbooks with his backpack slung across his back. He looked slightly younger than me._

_He had a mop of unruly curly brown hair, maybe about 5’ 10”, a slim but muscular build, and piercing green eyes. The boy seemed agitated, like he knew something was about to happen; only he didn’t know when or where. He began to walk towards the parking lot._

_“Hey, Styles.” Some unknown person yelled from the distance._

_The boy, who must have been ‘Styles’, froze in his tracks. He was completely rooted to his spot, not bothering to acknowledge the person and not turning around to face them._

_A whizzing noise passed through the air as a rock nailed the young boy in the back of the head. He stumbled around from the force of the rock, dropping his books to hold the back of his head. He pulled his hand back to see a smudge of blood on his nimble fingers._

_The boy started to walk away, back to the safety of the school._

_“Styles” The voice said with such brutality “Get back here you queer.” The person’s voice was so full of hate and disgust that I was cringing at the harshness of his tone._

_He didn’t listen, he just continued on his way back towards the building._

_The sounds of running feet meet my ears. The person who was screaming at the boy, accompanied by some other burly looking boys, ran up towards the slim boy and threw a punch at him. It knocked the young boy off his feet. He crumpled onto the ground, his body automatically pulling inward on itself._

_The group of boys began to kick at the young lad. He didn’t even fight back, he just took the beating. The group didn’t stop, they continued to kick and punch at any open space they could get too._

_One of the guys noticed that the boy on the ground had stopped moving. He stopped the kicking, leaning down, he checked for a pulse in the boy. He started shaking his head whispering to himself. He stood up_

_“Guys, we are so fucking screwed… he’s not breathing… I think we… I think we killed him.” He was saying with genuine fear in his voice._

The whistling tea kettle brought me back into reality.

I shakily shut off the kettle and sank to the floor clutching onto my knees. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I had the school name, and presumably the boys last name, now all I had to do was find him before it occurred.

~*~

After researching the school name I saw in the vision, I was lead to the town of Holmes Chapel. Without a second thought, I began to pack my stuff. I was going to the town, I was going to save that young boys life. My mother walked in on me as I was franticly packing.

“Zayn, what are you doing?” she said with a sweet voice.

I looked up to meet her caramel brown eyes, “Nothing mum.”

Mum didn’t know about the visions. No one did. My family just thought I was ‘interesting’ as they put it. So, there was no way that I could tell her that I’m off to save some boy I don’t know who I saw murdered in a vision I had. Yeah, that would blow over well.

“Then why are you packing your stuff?” mum questioned me.

“Um, I’m just going on a trip for school. I’ll be back soon.” I said lying to my own mother.

Sometimes I wish I could tell her what is going on, but I can’t. My family wouldn’t understand. They would stick me in the loony bin before I could even prove it.

Mum didn’t seem entirely convinced but she left me to my packing. That’s one thing I loved about her, she never pried about the details of things.

Once I finished packing, I got into my car and took off for Holmes Chapel.

~*~

An hour and a half later, I was standing in the small town of Holmes Chapel in Cheshire. It was a lovely town, very quiet, peaceful. It’s hard to believe that a boy is going to be killed here. There is supposed to be about 2 days left until the vision takes place, this at least gives me enough time to figure out how I’m going to stop it.

I checked into a cheap hotel, and then began to wander around the small town. As I was walking my stomach started screaming at me to eat. I looked around at the various shops and spotted a bakery not too far off. Making my way over to the shop, I began thinking of how to stop the death. Various ideas were swimming through my head. I couldn’t just call the police, they might think I’m a lunatic and then I’d have to explain how I knew it would happen. That’s not a chance I’m willing to take.

I looked up to be faced by the bakery door, I opened it to be meet by the chime of a bell and the delectably smells of baked goods.

I walked up to the display counter, looking at the variety of foods.

“Hello, what can I get for you?” A quiet voice said behind the counter.

I looked up to be met by the same piercing green eyes from the vision. I lost all words when I saw him, I didn’t think I would see him before that day. But here he is. He seemed like a happy person, I don’t understand why he wasn’t going to put up a fight.

“Um, yeah can I get 2 croissants please?” I said to the young boy.

He gave me a genuine smile as he bent down to grab two of the pastries. I looked at the name tag he was wearing; it said ‘Harry’. Harry Styles.

“You’re not from here, are you?” Harry said to me as he placed the pastries into a brown paper sack.

“No, no I’m not. I’m only here for a few days.” I replied pulling out my wallet to pay for the food.

Harry nodded his head as he took in my response. A smile played on his lips as I handed the money over to him. He genuinely seemed like a good kid, what in the world is going to happen and _why_ does it happen?

“It’s nice to see a fresh face every now and then. Have a great day.” Harry mused.

I smiled at the young lad. Turning I walked out of the shop.

Now that I’ve meet him, I can’t let him die.

~*~

On the day of Harry’s murder, I set out to prepare for the prevention of it. I had found the school the day prier, so I knew where it would take place. I found the location that the attack is going to be held and everything. I could literally see how everything was going to happen.

By the time that school got out, I was waiting. Luckily there was an area beside the parking lot that was covered in trees, which is where I hide myself from view.

I watched as the stream of people began to filter out of the school.

A half hour after the school was released for the day, I still hadn’t caught site of Harry or the thugs that are going to take his life.

I was nearly tempted to walk into the school myself and drag Harry out, at least then I would know he would be safe.

Eventually I began to doze off from waiting so long. I heard a door close off in the distance; my eyes flew open to see the familiar head of curly hair. I got to my feet and made my way closer to Harry. Crouching behind a car, I got a clear view of everything.

“Hey, Styles.” I heard off in the distance. I looked over to see the group of boys, then looked back at Harry rooted in his place.

I jumped out from behind the car as the rock was hurtled towards Harry. I did what I thought best to do; I tackled Harry to the ground before the rock made contact with his skull.

Harry must have thought it was the group of boys attacking because he curled up into a ball as if he was expecting a brutal beating.

I stood to turn towards the group, who looked beyond pissed off. They began to make their way towards me to beat the shit out of me rather than Harry.

I dug down into my pockets and grabbed a hand full of stones that I had collected earlier that day. I began to throw them at the guys. They were ducking and screaming curse words at me as the stones made contact with their skin.  Eventually, most of the boys gave up of their pursuit, only one of them remained, the head asshole continued his strides towards me.

“What the fuck is your problem ass wipe!” The head guy screamed at me.

I knew that a fight was going to happen. The large sack of meat towered over me, fist held high. He swung to make a deadly blown to my head, but was stopped short. The guys eyes crossed, his face scrunched up in pain as he fell to the ground. I looked over to see Harry with a shocked look on his face.

Harry had just taken out the largest of the gang, simply by hitting him where it hurt the most. The young lad looked up at me; he stood up, grabbed my hand and tugged me away from the school.

A short while later, we had made it to Harry’s house. Opening the door, he led me into the kitchen. He sunk down into a chair and buried his face into his hands.

“Harry, what happened back there.” I said quietly still standing awkwardly in the kitchen doorway.

He didn’t respond, but I saw the slight shake of his shoulders.

I took a tentative step towards him, placing a comforting hand onto his back, rubbing calming circles into it.

Harry looked up at me, eyes filled with tears and emotions that ranged from depressed to fear.

“I didn’t think they would do it.” he whispered behind the tears.

“Why would they do what, Harry? What were they going to do?” I asked not ceasing the motions of my hand on his back.

Harry looked around the small kitchen, his eyes clouding up as he began to recall what happened.

“They are a group of guys that have been making my life a living hell for a long time. They would beat the shit out of me daily. I’m still covered in bruises. But one day… I got so tired of being afraid. I was tired of coming home with bruises and black eyes. So, I told someone what they were doing, but they found out. They came to my work the other day, the day that you came in, they threatened me. They said they were going to beat me until I lost all thought and conscience and ended up in the hospital.  I didn’t think they would though. But back there, I could tell they were drunk. They really were going to –”

Harry stopped short of what he was saying as the tears caught up to him.

I wrapped Harry into a hug hoping that it would calm him down. He clung desperately to my shoulders, looking for any source of comfort.

“Harry, they weren’t… they weren’t going to just put you in the hospital. They… they were going to kill you.” I whispered into the sobbing boy’s ear. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but he deserved to know.

Harry pulled back. His eyes were filled with shook.

“What?” he said barely above a whisper.

I couldn’t find my voice. I just nodded my head, hoping that he would understand.

“Please, please don’t leave me here. They _will_ come back.” Harry begged. I couldn’t deny his distraught eyes. I agreed that I would take him home. He thanked me as he ran towards his room to gather some of his belongings.

~*~

The ride back to Bradford wasn’t that bad. It seemed longer then when I left, but at least I had Harry to talk with.

I explained to him how I knew about the attack. He was surprised, but amazed that I even attempted to stop it. He didn’t seem all that surprised about the visions, if anything he seemed to think of them as a gift. He thanked me numerous times for saving him.

By the time we got home, Harry was literally falling asleep on his face he was so tired. I took Harry up to my room and let him fall asleep on my bed. As the young boy feel asleep, he pulled his arms up towards his head, revealing arms covered in bruises just like he said.

 I walked down stairs, my own eyes heavy with sleep. I was at the bottom step when I felt a vision creeping into my eyes. I quickly made my way towards the couch as the vision blossomed before me.

_I was in another bathroom. A person was lying in the tub, nursing a bottle of booze. I couldn’t see who they were, only the hand that was clutching the bottle was visible._

_The person leaned forward, revealing the familiar mess of blonde hair. He looked trashed and shattered. He was clearly drunk of his ass, probably to mask any emotional pain._

_The boy leaned over the bathtub and picked up a shiny metal object._

_His hands were shaking, and tears rolling down his face. He looked up to the ceiling and whispered something inaudible._

_With one swift movement, he slid the sharp blade across the pale skin of his right wrist, then his left._

_He leaned back into the tub, glassy eyed, staring straight at the ceiling._

I was jerked out of the vision. Tears were streaming down my face as I recalled the vision. Why have I seen this boy twice? This was extremely odd. I’d never seen someone more than once in a vision.

Grabbing a pen and pad of paper, I jotted down everything that happened.


	4. Chapter 4

I was being awoken by a firm grip on my shoulder shaking me out of my deep sleep. My thoughts were fuzzy as I tried to piece together where I was and what happened. I knew I wasn’t in the comfort of my bed, but I knew that I was somewhere in my house. I remembered coming home after stopping the fight, but I couldn’t remember anything after that.

“Zayn, get up.” a rough voice said close to my ear

I peaked open my eyes just a sliver as I took in the abnormally bright surroundings and the mass of hair hanging over my head.

Shifting my weight, I peered up at the person in front of me. Harry was staring down at me wide-eyed.

“What did you do Zayn?” he asked me.

“What are you talking about?” I said, grumbling into the couch cushion, knitting my eyebrows in confusion.

 Harry looked at me, concern crossing his delicate features.

“Mate, look around.”

Sighing, I sat up and looked around the comfortable living area. My jaw went slack as I began to process what I was seeing.

Papers were scattered around the room. They were everywhere some on chairs and tables, many just thrown carelessly across the floor. Each had something written, or drawn on it.

Harry walked over to a particular large pile and picked up a few of the papers. He scanned over each, intrigued by what he saw.

I hadn’t made any move since I sat up; I wasn’t able to rap my head around what happened. I was desperately trying to remember what happened last night, but to no avail.

“Who is this?” Harry asked from across the room. He was walking around, picking up individual papers, looking over all of them as he tried to piece together what they meant.

I looked down to see a paper at my feet. Leaning forward, I grabbed the paper and looked it over. It was one of my drawings. It was showing me a person sitting in a bathtub, taking a razor to their wrists.

My stomach lurched as I looked at the drawing. I picked up another paper, this time showing me the same person. From the sketch, he was a fair skinned, light haired, kind looking boy. The eyes in the picture though looked blank.

Flipping both sketches over, I read the descriptions that printed the back side.

**Boy from previous vision. Sitting in tub, drinking alcohol, most likely to numb pain. Took knife to both wrists. Laid back with tears streaming down his face. Why am I seeing him again?**

Both descriptions were the same, but the images were clearly different. Reading what I saw, the events of last night came back with full force.

I remembered coming home and putting Harry to bed. Then I went downstairs where I was struck with a vision. A vision that confused me to no end. It was the first time I had ever seen the same person twice. Once I was brought back into reality, I started sketching, I was trying to get ever detail I could about this person. If I was seeing them again, then they must not have been successful the first time, which means there’s still a chance to save them.

I looked up to see Harry looking at me intently, still waiting for an answer.

“He’s someone I saw I a vision.” I responded quietly.

Harry nodded his head like he understood exactly what I was talking about, even though he knew the bare minimum.

“Do these visions happen often?” He asked walking over to sit down beside me.

I looked over to him to meet his eyes.

“I used to have them about once a week when I was younger, then they got more frequent, one almost every day. But after Emmy, well they slowed down again. Now it’s only one every week and a half… or something like that.”

Harry looked at me with utter amusement. He was clearly intrigued by my visions.

“Wow. What’s it like?” Harry asked

Sighing, I began to explain every detail about the visions, from when they began, to the hell they bring me now.

~*~

By the time I finished explaining everything to Harry, we were both mentally drained. For him, it was a lot to take in. For me, it was horrible to bring out.

But one quick grumble of our stomachs told us that we needed to eat, so here we are on our way in search of cheap food.

“You know, you’re kinda like a superhero.” Harry muttered as we were nearing a Nandos restaurant.

“You’re joking right. I see people die. How can you consider that good?” Whenever I mentioned the idea of visions to random people, they would always say it would be a gift, I still didn’t believe that.

“Well, yeah. You see people die, but you get to save them. That’s very superheroish.”

We neared the restaurant. When we walked inside, we were bombarded by the heavy scent of spices and chicken.

I didn’t respond to Harry’s comments. At least not yet. We ordered our meals and took a seat in the corner. Harry was too busy stuffing his face to notice that I went uncomfortably quiet.

_Saving people. I wish I could have saved all those people. How can I do this? How can I go about my everyday life knowing that there were hundreds of people who died because I couldn’t save them?_

I was being dragged under by the heavy thoughts of all those people in the past. This has happened before. About 3 years ago I was struggling with the visions so bad that I had spiraled downward into a pit of depression. My parents were worried sick that I was turning suicidal but it’s amazing, when you see people commit suicide on a regular basis, suicide never seems like a good idea to you. I was just quiet and reserved. I spent a long time worrying about the people from the past.

Eventually I was able to snap out of that phase.

“It’s not a gift.” I began to say. Harry looked up at me over his food. His expression was scrunched up as he chewed his food and listed to what I was saying. “I’ve only saved 2 people. 2 people. That’s it.”

“Yeah, but that’s still 2 people. You saved my life and I will be ever grateful for that.”

“I know, but that’s still only 2 out of 235 people.” I had counted the amount of people I had seen nearly a week ago. It made me sick to my stomach to think that 233 people didn’t make it.

Harry’s jaw dropped as I threw the statistic at him.

“Wow …” Harry gone visibly pale and was rendered speechless.

“Yeah and I –” I began to say, but stopped when I felt the tingle at the back of my eye. My vision darkened, I was pulled under into a vision.

_The daylight was fading. I was somewhere outside standing on a platform of a railway station. People were mulling about waiting for their train to arrive._

_Off to the side, I saw a tall, broad lad with his head held low, shuffling towards the tracks. He wore a dark hoodie. The hood was pulled up to cover his head, but I could see that he had dark, short curls underneath._

_The train was approaching. I could hear it off in the distance. The boy looked up at the sound of the approaching train. He stepped closer to the track._

_The boy looked towards me, I could see his dark auburn eyes, and they were broken._

_I looked around the station, trying to find where I was at. There was a child waiting with his mother farther down the track. The young boy was wearing a ‘wolverhampton wolves’ sweatshirt. Does that mean I was in Wolverhampton?_

_The sounds of the trains were closer. The lights were shinning. I could see the train. I could also see the tall lad stepping onto the tracks._

_But no one moved. They all saw him step out onto the tracks, yet no one bothered to do anything. They just sat and watched. They didn’t care, not even when the train collided with the boy._

Gasping for breath, I was pulled out of the vision. Harry, sitting across from me, looked as though he had seen a ghost. There was terror reflecting in his eyes. This was the first time he had seen me while having a vision.

“Did you…” Harry started to say before stopping short.

“Yeah, I just had a vision.” I muttered running a hand over my face.

I reached into my trousers and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper and a pen, I drew everything.

“Wolverhampton?” Harry asked as I jotted down the city name.

“Yep, that’s where we’re going next.” I said. I looked up at Harry. He was still wide eyed, but he looked determined.

He nodded his head to tell me that he would help me.

Maybe I can do this, maybe with Harry’s help, maybe I can. 


	5. Chapter 5

Days flew by since the vision. Harry and I were getting things together so we could head off to Wolverhampton to save a boy who thought it was necessary to step out in front of a train.  

Mum had a difficult time understanding why I was leaving again. She still didn't know about the visions and my reasoning behind my temporary leave was pretty shitty. But, she was letting me go anyway. 

I got to know Harry better over the past couple of days. He was an energetic and extremely cheeky lad. Although, sometimes I saw that he was still struggling. I would catch him toying with the bruises that still littered his delicate skin with a somber look on his face. He didn’t mention anything about his life in Holmes Chapel, and I didn’t push. I figured, when he was ready, he would talk.

Mum was confused when Harry first came to stay. She didn't know who Harry was (obviously) but when I explained that he was a friend and that he was having a tough time at home, she welcomed him as one of her own.

Harry had called his mum the day after he came to stay with me. I don’t know what happened, or what was said, but he seemed broken after he hung up the phone. But hours later, he was fine, or so it seemed. So when mum was so kind to him, he brightened up substantially. I think there was more to his life than he has letting me know.

Harry was ecstatic about the whole idea of going to Wolverhampton. He felt as if we were being superheroes sent off to save the lives of a fellow citizen. The only problem was, Harry didn't quiet grasp the whole concept. He thought that saving someone would be easy, just go up and pull them away from danger. What he didn't realize was if we did manage to stop him, who's to say he won't try it again. And if we don't succeed, then we essentially killed someone because we  _couldn't_  save them.

I had failed one too many times in the past, I wasn't about to fail anymore.

~*~

Three days before the vision was  _supposed_  to happen, Haz and I took off for the city of Wolverhampton.

The drive was long and tedious. Harry had fallen asleep only 15 minutes into it. I didn’t want to turn the radio on ‘cause I didn’t want to wake Harry, which just left me to the sounds of road and my own thoughts.

I still didn't know what to say to the boy once I found him. For all I knew, he could literally be psychotic and try to kill me. I knew that that wouldn't be the case; the look I saw in his eyes told me that he needed help. And fast.

But why did he feel the need to do this? Why does he want to end it all? How awful could his life really be?

That’s the thing about these visions. I see people take their lives or have their life ended, but I never know what their life was like. I never know what lead them to that fatal point. And I think that’s what bothered me the most.

After a long 2 or so hour drive, we finally arrived in the city of Wolverhampton.

It was a pretty dreary day. Grey skies and cool day air. It was a Friday afternoon and the local schools were just being released from their classes for the day.

People mulled about in the town, talking, laughing, and enjoying life. I envied them sometimes. I wanted to have a carefree life, one where I didn’t have to stress about people losing their life, mixed in with grueling course work, and an over worried mother.

Harry had woken up about a half hour prior to entering the city, but he was abnormally quiet.

We pulled into a small hotel that looked like it should have been closed down years ago. But, it was cheap, and having little money as it was, Harry and I decided to crash there for the time being.

After we checked in and claimed our key, we had crashed on the hard mattress. The trip had taken a toll on me, and before I knew it, I was sound asleep.

~*~

I woke to the strong smell of grease and spices. I opened my eyes to see Harry sitting with a bucket of chicken in his lap.

“Oh good you’re awake.” Harry said pushing the fried food in my direction.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

“How long was I out?” I asked

Harry looked up at the crocked clock that was mounted on the wall.

“About…3 hours.”

I looked out the window to see that the sun had set. The night was dark and eerie. 

“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Harry asked before taking a bite of the greasy chicken.

I turned back and grabbed a piece of the chicken while I thought about what the plan was actually going to be. I had thought of a few ideas while on the way up here, but I didn’t know which one to go about doing.

“Well, we should probably find the train station before anything. That way we know  _exactly_  where it’s going to happen.”

Harry nodded in response. “Do you know what you’re going to do? Like, what are you going to say to him?”

I let out a sigh. That was the hard part. I honestly didn’t know _what_ to say to him. How was I supposed to convince someone out of suicide? I told Harry just that.

He seemed a bit concerned, but didn’t push any further.

That night I spent the entire time thinking about what to say. I hadn’t dealt with a suicidal person yet, so I had no idea how to go about it. I tried to sleep, but was constantly haunted by the boy’s body hitting the speeding train.

~*~

 The next morning, Harry and I wandered aimlessly around Wolverhampton. We were looking not only for the train station, but for the boy as well. Harry thought that if we could find the boy first, than we would be able to stop him before he got to the tracks.

We never did see him. Eventually, we did find a set of train tracks. So, we followed them. They obviously would lead to a station somewhere. Normally I would have looked up where the station was located, but I had forgotten my laptop back home.

As the daylight began to fade, I was surprised to see that it looked just as it did in the vision. That sparked a little bit of fear in me. Did I get the days wrong? I don’t think I did, tomorrow was supposed to be 2 weeks exactly. That’s when the vision was supposed to happen. Or are they getting faster?

“Look” Harry said, pointing off into the distance.

Sure enough, a station platform was ahead of use.

As we got closer, I could tell that it was the same station. We walked up onto the platform and looked around. It was like any other station. People were walking by heading off to their respective places.

I was about to tell Harry that we could go back to the hotel, when I saw something that left me dead in my tracks.

There was a young boy clinging to his mother wearing a ‘Wolverhampton Wolves’ hoodie.

 _No, that can’t be_. I turned and sure enough, there was the boy, head ducked low, walking towards the tracks. Just then, the sound of the incoming train rang out in the still night air.

“Harry” I whispered nudging him slightly.

Harry looked up at me. He paled when he saw the terror on my face.

“It’s him.” I said quietly.

Harry followed my line of sight to see the young boy walking towards the tracks.

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to be till tomorrow.” Harry said his voiced filled with concern.

“I think the visions are happening faster.”

The boy looked up and I saw the same brown eyes, full of pain.

I took a stepped towards him. The boy didn’t notice, he just continued on towards the edge of the platform.

His was about to step out on the tracks when I reached out and gripped his arm, pulling him back. He didn’t fight me. His eyes looked up to meet mine. I thought I saw how hurt he was from a distance, but now that I’m seeing him up close, I’m baffled by the emotions swirling together.

It’s almost hard to look at. He is absolutely shattered.

“Don’t do it.” I whispered.

The boy shook his head at me. He pulled out of my grip with ease. He whispered “I’m sorry” before hopping onto the tracks.

I could see the train. It was moving at a high speed, in only a matter of minutes, the boy would be dead. He wouldn’t listen to me. Harry was beside me, trying feebly to convince him to get back onto the platform.

It was probably the stupidest thing I have ever done, but I leaped onto the tracks. I tackled the boy to the ground and maneuvered our bodies so that we were wedged between the tracks. It all happened so fast.

The train went over us. The sharp sound of metal scrapping filled our ears as the train slowed. The boy lay limp beneath my body. Eventually the train stopped. And thankfully, we were still alive.

After a while, the train moved and we were pulled off the tracks.

I wouldn’t leave his side. Not even for a second out of fear that he would try it again.

We had to explain what happened. I just played it off as he slipped and got stuck and I jumped down to help.

The boy stayed quiet through the whole thing.

After they let us leave, the boy tried to walk off.

I grabbed him by the arm. He looked back at me again. “Leave.” He said.

“No.” I responded with as much force as I could. I gently pulled him back the way Harry and I had come.

~*~

We eventually found our way to a coffee shop. Harry ordered us some drinks, as the boy, whose name I still didn’t know, and I found a spot to sit.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

The boy started down at the table but responded by saying “Liam.”

He had a heavy Wolverhampton accent, it was raw and strained, but I could hear the barest hit of life still in it.

“Liam.” I said testing out his name, “I’m Zayn. This is Harry.” I said point to Harry who had returned with our drinks.

Liam didn’t say anything, but he accepted the cup of tea from Harry.

“Do you want to tell us what happened back there?” I asked

Liam looked up and said coldly “You already know what happened.”

I was taken aback by his sudden change in attitude.

“Yes, but w—” I began to say but was cut short as my vision went dark.

_I was at a racecourse. A horse racecourse.  Well that was odd in itself. The horses were steadily racing around the course. I saw a sign saying “Doncaster Racecourse”._

_Well, at least I knew where I was._

_I scanned over the crowd of people. A young lad was walking near the edge of the track, looking at the approaching horses._

_He was tall and thin. A crazy mop of brown hair. He honestly looked slightly feminine._

_As the horses drew closer, the boy climbed up onto the barrier ledge._

_Then he jumped._

_He was trampled by about 20 horses._

I gasped as I was brought out of the vision.

Liam and Harry were staring at me with wide eyes.

“What the hell just happened?” Liam asked.

“It’s a long story” I said.

“I’ve got time.”


	6. Chapter 6

Liam and Harry were sat in front of me. Liam looked at me with cold hardened eyes and Harry looking intrigued.

The vision was still fresh in my mind. It was definitely different. Whoever this person was, they were very creative in how they wanted to die. I just wish I didn’t have to see them do it. But then again, if I hadn’t seen it, then who would be there to stop them? They would just be another dead person that no one paid any attention too. They would just be another lost soul.

I dug deep into my trousers and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper and a pen.

Liam’s cold eyes never left me as I quickly drew out the scene that just unfolded before me.  His deep brown eyes boring into me made my skin crawl.

I let out a deep sigh. I knew that there would be no way out of explaining what just happened.

“It all started when I was around 4 years old. I remember I was in the park playing on the swings and I fell. I guess I hit my head hard enough that when I awoke, I was in the hospital. It was awful lying in the bed; I was young and just wanted to play outside and stuff. But when I was lying there, I had my first vision.”

The memory flashed before me as if it was happening all over again. I still remember everything that had happened. It was hard to recall sometimes ‘cause I knew that after that day, my life would never be the same. And I was right.

Liam was looking at me intently, still not sure about what the hell I was talking about.

“It was of a little girl. She was probably around the same age as me at the time. It was awful, she was sitting on the floor of her house I’m guessing and then a man, maybe her dad, came up behind her… he beat her. He didn’t stop until she was dead.” A stray tear slid down my cheek as the vision played out in my mind. “I didn’t know what it meant at first. I thought it was nothing more than a nightmare. But they kept happening. They happened frequently too. I soon realized that they weren’t dreams, they were real.”

Harry and Liam sat silently, neither wanting to break the silence that swept over me as I recalled that day.

“About a year later, I realized that these ‘dreams’ weren’t going to stop. That’s when I started drawing them. I drew every vision that I would get. I still do today. Every vision was the same… more or less. Someone would always die weather that was due to suicide or murder.”

“You’re bullshitting me aren’t you.” Liam spat out, his tone full of anger while giving me an intense stare.

I had a feeling that Liam would have a difficult time wrapping his head around the fact, but I didn’t think he would be so harsh about it.

“Why would I lie to you?”

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that you see visions of people dying? Are you nuts?” anger coursed through Liam’s voice.

The tall Wolverhampton boy pushed his seat back and stood up to leave me and Harry behind. He obviously thought that I, and maybe Harry, was nothing more than freaks who thought we could pull a joke on him.

“I’m not lying. Explain to me how I knew you were going to jump on those tracks? I’ve never met you before and I’m not even from here. So how did I know and why did I drive all the way here to stop you and why did I jump onto those tracks to save you?”

Liam stopped. He looked at me, confused. Liam was fighting an internal battle. He wanted to believe that I was lying, but he also wanted to believe that I wasn’t. The logical side was telling Liam that it wasn’t possible and that I was just a crazy nut job who would do anything for a laugh. But the other side of Liam was telling him that I _wasn’t_ lying. That there was no way some random person would drive from another city; risk their own life, just to save his sorry ass.

To me, it looked as if Liam would choose the side of ‘I’m just a crazy nut’. I grabbed my backpack that was hanging loosely on the chair I was sitting at and pulled out my sketch pad.

The movement caught Liam’s attention. He ventured closer to me to see what I was doing, out of curiosity.

I flipped through several of the pictures, remembering when I received each vision, eventually landing on the crumpled paper that the original sketch was drawn on a little less than 2 weeks prior. I pulled the image out from the staple that held it to the sketch pad and handed it to Liam.

Liam scanned over the image and read the description. He looked back up at me “What is this?”

“I drew that the day I saw the vision of you jumping.” I said smoothly as if it was nothing at all.

“This was drawn 2 weeks ago, how did you know I was going to do it? I didn’t decide I was going to jump until … like 3 days ago.” Liam was confused, conflicted, irritated, and about a million other emotions all at once.

“Like I said, I don’t know why I get these visions, but I do. I see people who take their life, or have it taken from them. From the time I get the vision, I’ve got 2 weeks to find them. In your case, it was actually a day short of being 2 weeks. I think that the time between visions is getting smaller.”

Still looking at the sketch, Liam ran a hand through his dark brown-blond hair and let out a defeated sigh.

“I shouldn’t believe you, but I do.” He grumbled after a moment of silence.

“Good, maybe you should come back to Bradford with me and Harry.”

“Now why the hell would I go back with you? I still don’t know you. Why would I leave my whole life behind?” Liam questioned, his eyes hard again.

This time Harry spoke up.

“Because, if you got to the point of trying to kill yourself, things here must not be all that great and getting away from all that may help.”

Liam looked at the younger lad and nodded.

“Alright. Whatever, I’ll go. But if it isn’t any better there I’m leaving.”

I smiled at Liam. It was a start; at least he was willing to try.

“Perfect. Let’s get going then.”

~*~

By the time we left the coffee shop, it was pitch black out. All of us decided that we were far too exhausted to attempt to drive back home. Instead we decided to spend another night at the cramped, cheap hotel.

When we woke, we packed up the little belongings we had and headed off to Bradford.

Harry, yet again, fell asleep quickly. Liam simply was quite the whole way back.

Once we pulled up to my house, we all jumped out of the car, happy to be able to stretch our legs. Harry took the opportunity to collect all our stuff and lug it up to the front door. Liam lagged behind us all, clearly uncomfortable about the situation he got himself into.

Harry tossed our belongings carelessly around the room. It didn’t bother me much.  I looked behind me to see Liam standing in the doorway, not sure whether he should come inside or make a run for it.

“Come on Liam.” I said softly.

He took a tentative step into the house, his eyes danced across the various items in the living area. I watched him as he slowly walked around the room, looking at the family photographs and various knick-knacks. Once he reached the couch, he slowly sank down into the comfortable cushions, but he did so cautiously, like he wasn’t allowed to sit down.  Something about the way Liam acted in my house told me that he must have had a horrible home life.

Harry walked into the room, holding 3 cups of tea in his hands. He handed me one of the cups before taking a seat next to Liam.

I noticed something when Harry handed Liam the hot cup of tea. The sleeve of his shirt bunched up around his left wrist. Underneath the thin cotton were small, shiny puckered scars. I hadn’t noticed them before now. It was just another issue added to Harry’s problem.

Taking a sip from the tea that rested in my hand, I lowered myself into the chair adjacent to the couch.

Harry was telling Liam about the perfect way to make tea, Liam only half listening of course. These 2 boys were definitely a mystery. Each had their own stories about their life, and each with dark secrets that led them to where they are today.

“I think we need to talk about why you both are here.” I blurted out, breaking into Harry’s explanation about the perfect amount of sugar one should add to their tea.

Harry looked up at me, curious about what I just said.

“Why?” Harry asked, looking back from myself and Liam.

“Because there are obvious problems that have gone on with you both, and nothing will get better unless you talk about it and figure out how to fix it.”

Liam sat back, crossing his arms across his chest. “Oh geez, I didn’t know this was going to turn into a therapy session.”

“Um, well I guess we can talk about it.” Harry’s voice had turned from confident to vulnerable. His eyes darkened from the thoughts of his past. His hands beginning to shake. “Where do you want me to start? Or do you want to start Liam?”

“No, I’m not starting this.” Liam grumbled not meeting any of our eyes.

“Well, what happened to you at school or home?” I asked. I wasn’t going to mention the scars on his arms. I knew that they were being covered for a reason, so I was not going to push the matter.

Harry took a ragged breath before he began talking.

“Um… well school was nothing short of Hell on Earth. I would go into school and people would just throw insults at me… they would say things like ‘you’re worthless’ they’d call me ‘scum’ or ‘freak’ and a lot of other horrible things. They all beat me. I’ve still got the bruises from them. Some of the beatings left scars, but not many. A few times I needed stitches though. It happened every day. Nothing I could do or say to them, or anyone, would stop it. It got to the point that … um…”

Harry started fumbling over his words. He wasn’t sure how to phrase what he was trying to say. I watched as Harry tugged on the edge of his sleeve eventually pulling his sleeve up to his elbow. Harry turned his arm over revealing the scars on his arm.

Liam’s eyes went wide and he paled as he took in the amount of puckered skin that littered Harry’s slender arms.

I didn’t think it was this bad. From the time I met Harry, he was always a happy person. I always saw him with a smile. Occasionally I did see his mind wander and him gently rub a bruise absentmindedly, but I didn’t know the extent that the bullies played on Harry. I had never seen this side of the younger lad.

“I got to _this_ point.” Harry whispered

The room was silent as we saw the real damage that bulling leads too.

“Harry –” Liam said softly. For the first time since I met Liam, I was finally seeing the vulnerable, caring side of him.

Harry looked up and met Liam’s eyes. I could see the quiet exchange between both of them, though I’m not sure what it was, but they both seemed relaxed and – safe?

I didn’t push either of them further. Hearing only a little bit of Harry’s story was enough. I would wait for Liam to tell his past later on, when he’s more comfortable. Knowing that each lad had dealt with some pain in their past was difficult; having them confront what happened was even harder.

Both boys had their difficulties. I just hope bringing them home with me, and them having to deal with all my visions and shit wouldn’t bring them further into their darkness. I guess only time will tell.


	7. Chapter 7

After our little talk session, Liam and Harry both went straight to bed. I felt a twinge of guilt for pushing Harry to talk about his past, but at the same time, I’m glad he did. I know a little more about what happened with him, so hopefully that will enable me to help him some more.

Liam on the other hand, was an entirely different story. I met him when he was at his lowest and that was only a day ago. He wants to guard himself from anymore hurt, and I don’t blame him. I just met him and already he is being thrown into the shittastic life style of Zayn Malik.

With the house silent around me, I set out to find who this new person was from the vision. All I knew was they were in Doncaster and that’s about it. That didn’t really help me all that much. But thankfully it being a racecourse meant all the races will be scheduled online. I logged onto my laptop and found the Doncaster Racecourse website to find the list of race times.

If I was right, and the visions were indeed getting closer together, then it would happen anywhere between a Thursday and Saturday, 2 weeks from now. I looked over the schedule and sure enough there were races lined up for the next 2 weeks. But as it got closer to the day the vision is supposed to take place, the only race that happens was on a Friday.

Running a hand through my hair, I jotted down the time of the race and where the track was found, before closing my laptop.

I laid back on the couch, trying to clear my mind of the events that happened over the past 48 hours. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. It was times like these when I would easily slip back into a pit of depression. These visions were tiring and I don’t know how much longer I can take of this.

As my eyes slipped shut an image danced across my eyelids. I don’t know why, but the image of a blonde headed boy appeared before me. I had only seen the boy from the visions…twice. But why was I seeing him now. All I saw was his face, but not like in the previous visions, this time he was smiling. His eyes were bright and full of life.

I fell asleep with the image of the boy smiling brightly stuck in my head.

~*~

A week and a half flew by without much trouble. Both Harry and Liam got on really well. We spent the majority of our time either preparing for the trip to Doncaster or getting to know each other. My life was starting to feel like a routine; get a vision, find where person is located, 2 weeks later try to save them, some yelling in between there, then back home for another vision.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Liam, Harry and I were packed up and ready to head off. I had to lie to mum again so she would let me go. She was having trouble understanding why I was always off in a rush and where these two new people came from. I never had friends in school and mum knew that, so seeing two lads in her house that she’s never seen before, well it confused her. She thought I was getting better I guess, trying to be more social and less reclusive. I hated lying to her; I wish I could just tell her everything that was going on. But I couldn’t. I was too afraid to tell her. Maybe one day I can.

But anyway, all three of us loaded into my car and headed off to Doncaster. Harry, without fail, fell asleep no more than 10 minutes into the drive. Luckily the drive was only an hour or so, depending on traffic, so it wasn’t that uncomfortable. Actually, it was kind of pleasant.

Over the past two weeks, Liam had loosened up substantially. I was finally seeing the real side of him. Instead of seeing the moody, dreary, mysterious side of Liam, I was seeing the fun loving, spirited, hopeful side. It was a stark contrast between the different sides. I was glad Liam was letting us see this new side to him. He was improving tremendously.

When I first met him, I thought he was going to be a handful to work with, but now he’s willing. He’s willing to help out with things, and he’s even opened up a little to us, not much, but enough.

“Is it hard Zayn?” Liam’s thick Wolverhampton accent asked from the backseat.

“Is what hard?”

“You know your visions and shit. Like, is it hard to deal with them? Or do they hurt or something?” Liam asked, curiosity in his voice.

I pondered the question for a moment. I had never been asked that question, and I really didn’t think much of it. But Liam’s question did bring out much of the terror that I’ve dealt with because of these damned visions.

 “Yeah I guess they are. I have a hard time dealing with them sometimes. Like when I first started getting them, I didn’t know what they were, and they just terrified me. But as I got older, I just struggled with understanding them. Like why am I seeing this? I’m only a kid, what can I do? I felt useless. You know, I’ve had 236 visions, and I’ve only been able to stop 3 people from dying.” I chocked down a lump in my throat. I always struggled with the fact that so many people died because I was so clueless about what was going on.

“But that’s still 3 people that are alive because of you. And I have to thank you for that. I should have never attempted to kill myself. And I apologize for you having to see that.” Liam murmured.

“That’s what Harry said. But it’s still hard. As for does it hurt? No not really. Only when they happen so quickly that I don’t expect them and totally brain my head against a sidewalk or something. That’s happened a couple times.” I chuckled recalling those few times where I woke up lying on the sidewalk. “The only times a vision physically hurts me is when a gun is involved. When the person uses a gun to either shoot themselves or someone else, I’ll come out of the vision with a splitting headache and blurred vision. That’s always the worst.”

I saw Liam grimace behind me. “Sorry about that.” He apologized for something neither he nor I could control.

“Don’t be.”

After I answered his question, Liam and I chatted about random stuff, mostly football, on our way to Doncaster.

~*~

When we pulled into the town, it was pelting down rain. It was only a Wednesday so there were a few days before the incident.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this vision, something about it was off. From what I saw, the lad jumped off the railing. But the look on his face was more of anger when he jumped, but terror once he realized what he had just done.

I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I just had to wait to find out.

Harry had woken up from his nap and was complaining about the weather, while Liam was looking irritated about having to listen to Harry’s whining.

“Harry will you shut up.” Liam snapped.

Harry grumbled in his seat, eyes narrowing in annoyance.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. “Can we find a restroom please?”

“Yeah.” I said, turning and pulling into the Tesco parking lot.

I eased the car into a spot and shut the car off. Harry scrambled out of the car, bolting into the building in search of a bathroom.

Liam unbuckled himself from his seat, stepping out of the car. I did the same, following the Wolverhampton native into the store.

“Is there anything we should pick up while we’re here?” Liam asked looking around at the various items.

“We can buy some snacks if you’re hungry.” I suggested

Liam nodded and headed off towards the snack aisle. We browsed the food selection, picking up various bags of crisps and sweets. After we had enough food to last through the weekend, Liam and I headed off to the check out.

As I rounded the corner I ran smack-dab into a person, dropping some of the bags of food.

“Sorry about that.” The person mumbled, leaning down to help pick up the food.

When the person stood up, my breath hitched as realization crossed my mind. It was the boy from the vision.

“That’s alright.” I murmured taking the bags from him.

“No really, I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry again.” he said. The lad that stood before me seemed so genuine, so carefree and nice that I found it incredible difficult to understand why he was in my vision.

“Louis!” a little girl’s voice called from down the aisle.

The boy turned to the small girl and grinned.

“Daisy you don’t need those sweets. Mum won’t get them for you anyway.” He said scooping up the child in his arms, blowing kisses into her cheeks causing her to giggle.

I smiled at the sweet moment between the siblings. The closeness of the two made this whole situation 10 times more difficult to understand.

Louis turned back towards me again.

“Sorry again.” he said before walking away.

I stood there, not knowing what to do. If Liam wasn’t beside me, I would probably have stood there for god knows how long, just thinking.

“Zayn, you alright?” Liam asked

“That was him” I mumbled turning back to Liam.

Liam looked just as confused as me.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah… I’m sure.”

I felt exhausted and confused. There are just something’s that didn’t quite make sense, and this was one of them.

~*~

“Wait, so you met him?” Harry asked as we sat in a dingy motel.

“Yeah, and he was nice. Like overly nice and really happy too. I don’t get it.” Liam said.

Harry’s brow scrunched up in confusion.

“Weird. I wonder why he jumps.”

Liam and Harry’s conversation was only background noise to me. I was in my own world of confusion and thought.

From the way Louis acted today, I knew that there was something underlying everything. There had to be a reason for Louis to do such a stupid thing. He seemed really, really happy when we ran into him today, and the way he smiled at his sister clearly told me that he was content with his life. Something didn’t add up. There was something he was hiding, or something outside of everything that he couldn’t control.

But what?

~*~

Friday rolled around in no time. All three of us left early to get to the track, all in the hopes to stop Louis before he does something he would regret.

The racecourse wasn’t that packed, but there was still a substantial amount of people there.

I looked around, trying to spot the lad, but to no luck. In the vision, the race had already started. I knew exactly which turn of the track Louis would jump, which is where we choose to stay. The closer to stopping him the better.

People mulled about waiting for the race, some making bets on which horse would win. Harry’s eyes were bright as he gazed at the stunning thoroughbred horses. Liam sat quietly watching the people as they walked by.

At precisely 12 o’clock, the race was being announced and was minutes away from beginning.

With no sign of Louis yet, I got up and started walking around hoping to spot him.

The race was being counted down.

3… 2… 1…

The horses took off down the track. I turned and saw the horses making their way quickly around each corner. My heart rate spiked as the horses rounded each turn. I still had not seen Louis.

I was starting to think my mind was making things up when I heard a large group of guys laughing.

“Look there he goes.” “He’s actually going to do it.” “What an idiot.” “Doesn’t he know how fast those horses are?” “He’s going to get trampled for sure.” “Good, maybe it’ll kill him, then we won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

I followed the group’s line of vision to see none other than Louis walking next to the railing. It made more sense now. It seemed like Louis was pressured into jumping. I don’t think he ever intended to die. But the group on idiots did. They didn’t care about him, they said it themselves, the preferred it if he was dead.

I took off down the stands trying to catch up to Louis.

Liam and Harry were watching as the horses rounded the corner, they didn’t see Louis approaching.

I ran as fast as my body would let me.

Louis was in front of the railing. He stepped up, one foot on the bars, then the other. Louis leaned over the rails, looking down at the fall below him.

I could still hear the boys laughing behind me.

“Louis!” I screamed trying to catch his attention long enough to stop him.

But he didn’t hear me.

He tossed one leg over the rails, looking at the approaching horses. Anger was clear across his face, but in his eyes was panic.

“Louis!” I screamed again.

This time I caught his attention. He looked at me with recognition, but it didn’t stop him from what was going to do.

The horses drew closer to where Louis stood.

Liam looked up from the speeding horses, his eyes growing wide. He recognized Louis from the day before. He leapt out of his seat and ran to where Louis was at.

It happened so fast that I barely registered what happened. One minute Louis was on the railing, the next he wasn’t. I felt my pulse spike as the horses turned around the corner.

Louis and Liam where nowhere to be seen.

_No no no no no!_

Harry was leaning over the rails, looking down below him. When I finally caught up, I looked down. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought that I had just lost two people because I couldn’t do more.

As I looked over the rails, I felt relief wash over me. Louis and Liam were pushed up against the barrier wall. Both were safe and unharmed, but both had terror in their eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Convincing the race officials that Louis and Liam’s fall was merely an accident was much harder than convincing the police that Liam tripped off the platform at the train station in Wolverhampton. They eventually settled on our excuse of ‘Liam tripped and landed on Louis who was standing on the rails to get a better view of the race. It was an accident and no one was hurt.’ So, after a good 15 minutes of a stern talking to about how dangerous that was and how they could have died, they finally let us leave.

Louis sauntered out of the building, bolting straight to his car to escape any more questions. The expression on Louis’ face was a mix of anger, frustration, and pain.

I jogged over to him, catching up with him before he made it to his car. He flinched when I placed a hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t show it on his face.

“Can we talk?”

Louis scowled at me and scoffed. He jerked himself away from me, continuing on towards his vehicle. The change in Louis was astounding. I had run into him the previous day and what I saw was a fun-loving, happy guy. This Louis that was walking away from me now was the polar opposite.

_What happened to him? Why the sudden change?_

“Louis!” I called after him hoping he’d stop and listen to me. I should have known he wouldn’t. Instead I received a rude gesture and a turned back.

Looking up towards the bleak sky, I cursed whatever God there was up there for giving me someone like Louis to handle. I looked back at Louis’ retreating figure.

I ran up to him this time and grabbed his arm harder than I should have, but it was the only way he was going to stop.

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk, then you’re going to listen. Did you know you were going to die back there if Liam hadn’t been there?”

“Bullshit.”

“You can think I’m lying all you want, but I’m telling you the truth. You would have fallen off that railing and ended up lying on that patch of dirt, helpless. Those horses wouldn’t have taken a second thought as they ran over your body. You would have been trampled by a dozen horses, your body laying in pieces along the track. Did you know that? But you’re not dead because Liam pulled you both away from those horses.”

“Right, sure, can you just fuck off please.”

“No. Not until you explain to me what in the hell would have made you stand up on those rails and jump.”

“I wouldn’t have jumped.”

“Yes you would have.”

“How would you know? You don’t even know me.”

“I know because I saw Louis. I saw you jump. I saw the look of fear on your face as you realized what you did. I saw your body lying dead on those tracks. I know more than you think.”

“How could you have seen if I didn’t jump?”

“I just did okay. I’ll explain that later. But right now, you’re going to explain why you were going to jump.”

“No.”

“Louis!”

“Will you leave me the fuck alone!”

“Dammit Louis! What is so hard about all of this? Don’t you get it? You were going to die. You would have been dead. Your stupid move would have left your sisters without their brother. Your stupid fucking move would have caused your parents to plan your funeral. Even those assholes that were laughing at you would have even felt horrible because you were dead. Your stupid move would have caused so many damn things to happen and you won’t even explain why the fuck you would have done it.”

Louis stared blankly at me, his eyes glazed over.

“Maybe I would have been better off dead.”

“No. No Louis. No you wouldn’t. You are meant to live, and that’s what you’re going to do. This world wouldn’t be better off without you. You should never think such a thing.”

“I don’t believe that.”

I let out a deep sigh, running my hands over my face.

“Why don’t we go get some coffee or tea or something?”

Louis seemed reluctant, but eventually he nodded that that would be alright.

~*~

Louis took us to a small little café south of the racetrack. He was ridiculously quiet the entire way there. But what bothered me more than Louis’ silence was the horrible sensation that was itching the back of my eyes. I always knew it was a sign of an upcoming vision, but this time, nothing’s happening. No darkened vision. No new images of deaths to come. Nothing. That’s probably what ate away at me more than anything on the ride over.

After we got out of Louis’ car, I still felt the sensation, but still nothing.

I ordered just standard drip coffee, something to give me a caffeine buzz. Louis ordered himself a chai tea latte and a plate of biscuits. When we got our orders, we sat down in the far corner of the shop. Louis ignored my presences, as if I was never there.

He nibbled absentmindedly on one of the cookies. He stared blankly off at the table and his latte.

“Louis?”

Louis’ attention snapped up back towards me. When he saw me sat across from him, he put the biscuit down, picking up his latte. He fumbled around, looking lost and confused.

“How are the biscuits?”

Hoping to get Louis more comfortable, I just began shooting off random questions. Louis seemed glad that I didn’t jump right into the interrogation. He visible relaxed as he talked about his mate Stan and his 4 sisters.

“… and Lottie’s like _can you get any sassier!_ ” Louis chuckled as he told me a story between himself and his oldest sister.

I laughed along as well. Now with Louis calmer, he was starting to show his high-spirited self.

“You really like your sister, yeah?”

“Yeah, they mean everything to me. I mean sure they can be a pain sometimes, but I love them.”

“So, you’d never like, leave them right?”

“Never. I’d always be there for them.”

“Then why were you going to jump?”

The older lad stiffened before me, his eyes downcast and all his former confidence gone. His feathered hair fell over his eyes, casting his face into a dark shadow.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled.

I sat and watched as Louis fidgeted in his seat, looking wearily around the café. He was clear hiding something, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Louis. I’m not going to judge you or anything; I just want to know what went through your mind when you stood up on the railing.”

“I uhh... I was scared.”

“Were you scared of jumping? Or…?”

  
“Not of jumping, I was looking forward to that actually. It was kinda a thrill thing, but more of what would happen.”

“What did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know… I guess I thought that if I did it, I would either die, or live. And if I lived, then they would stop.”

“Who would stop?”

“The Brothers.”

Louis’ voice took on a sharp tone as he spoke the name.

“Who are The Brothers?” I questioned completely thrown by the name Louis spoke and the underlying tone he took on.

Louis’ head shot up looking at me with wide eyes. He shook his head furiously.

“I shouldn’t have told you that.” he whispered clearly alarmed.

“Ok, you don’t have to tell me… maybe another time, yeah?”

“Maybe.” Louis was nibbling on his bottom lip, looking around the café as if he was afraid someone had overheard.

“Well, why did you tell me that you’d be better off dead?”

“That’s just it, they’re the reason I said that… but I can’t tell you who they are so that probably sounds weird huh? Just… just know that it would be better to be dead then be pursued by them.”

“Ok. I won’t push or anything. But I want to kn–”

I was cut off by the dark vision clouding my eyes, and my head slamming down onto the table.

_I was standing in a familiar bathroom. The water was running in the porcelain tub. All the lights were off in the room aside from the faint glow from a flashlight that sat perched on the toilet, shinning its dim light onto the running water._

_Light footsteps padded into the room, someplace behind me._

_A body appeared. When I saw the shape of the person’s torso, the color of the hair and the dull eyes, I felt like I was in an episode of_ The Twilight Zone _. How could this be possible?_

_The same blonde headed boy from before. The same boy I had seen twice before stood before me now._

_His stiff body walked over to the running tub and shut off the water. With a deep breath, the boy stepped into the tub fully clothed. His wrist caught the dim light of the flashlight. I saw the puckered skin from his previous attempt at suicide._

_The boy sunk into the tub, lowering his head below the waterline._

“Zayn!” a loud voice screamed into my ear.

My head shoot up with such force that all the blood rushed straight into my head. The felt myself caught in a dizzy spell. I clamped my eyes shut waiting for the feeling to pass.

Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Louis’ worried expression looking at me.

“Are you alright? You were just talking then passed out and … and you were talking while you were out.”

“I was talking?” I never knew I did that while I was in a vision.

“Yeah, you were.”

“What was I saying?”

Louis scrunched up his face as he thought back to what I had said.

“Err… something about ‘ _this isn’t possible’_ and ‘ _this can’t be happening again’_ and then you started screaming ‘no’ that’s when I started shaking you trying to get you to wake up.”

Well at least my conscious and unconscious self were on the same page, this seemed weird and wrong. Why was I seeing this boy again? This was the third time I saw him. That’s _never_ happened before, so why know? What’s so special about this boy? And more importantly, who was he?


	9. Chapter 9

I hadn’t expected to hear that I spoke to myself while in a vision. If anything, it made me more self-conscious. I’ve fallen into visions during class or surrounded by people before, so who knows what I could have said. That is, if I actually said anything before. For all I knew, this could have been a onetime thing. I mean, this whole seeing-the-same-person-die-for-the-third-time deal could be really messing with my head.

Well, Liam and Harry have seen me in a vision before, so maybe they could tell me more about what happens on the outside, while I’m stuck on the inside.

“Are you going to explain to me what just happened?” Louis asked

Shit. I completely forgot that I needed to explain to Louis how I came to find him and how I knew he was going to die. From the way he acted, I highly doubt he’d believe me. Sure Harry believed me right off the bat, Liam came to terms with it after a little convincing, but Louis? I had a feeling convincing Louis would be like pulling teeth.

“Err, yeah I will. But you won’t believe me.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because it’s something _really_ hard to believe.”

“Of course it is. So are you going to tell me or not?”

“I will, but I think we should go back to the hotel I’m staying at. Maybe if you hear 2 other people tell you what’s going on, then maybe you’ll believe me a little more… I hope.”

“Whatever, it’s not like I have any plans.” Louis grumbled.

I nodded my head at Louis. He seemed content with the simple motion as he cleaned up his stuff off the table and got up to make his way out of the café.

I was personally praying that Louis would relax a little once I told him what’s going on, and he calms down from whatever emotion that the news will cause. Because honestly, if he doesn’t return back to the lad I met in the grocery story, I may just smack him for his sassy attitude.

~*~

I pulled out the key to the hotel room from my jean pocket. Louis was standing behind me, shifting his weight back and forth. I turned the key and pushed the door open. My ears were instantly met by the sound of laughter and video game guns shooting. I tried to suppress the chill that ran down my back from the sound of the guns. I knew the guns were fake but it still brought back memories I wish I didn’t have.

Liam and Harry didn’t even bother turning around as I opened the door; they just carried on with their game.

Louis walked into the small room. He looked at the 2 lads that were preoccupied. I could see from where I stood the slight smirk on the edge of his lips.

“Hey Zayn.” Harry said still not looking up from the game.

“Hey guys, do you mind pausing the game for a few moments?”

“No way man, were almost done. Like 2 minutes I promise.” Liam replied shoot at Harry’s character.

Louis laughed quietly as Harry began throwing a slew of curse words at Liam for shooting him repeatedly.

Neither boy realized that Louis was in the room. Not until Louis laughed loudly when Harry’s character died and Liam began doing a victory dance.

Harry looked up from the floor, his eyes bulging as he saw Louis standing in the center of the room. Liam stopped his dancing abruptly, blushing in embarrassment. 

“Uh, Zayn, why didn’t you mention that he was in here?” Liam asked his cheeks lightly blushed.

“I tired but you were a little… preoccupied.”

Harry burst into laughter, rolling on his back, clutching at his sides.

“Anyway, we need to explain something to Louis.”

Harry’s laughter stopped abruptly, and Liam eyed me curiously.

“You mean he doesn’t know?” Liam asked.

“No.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Harry queried.

“Because I think he’d believe me if he heard it from you two as well.”

Liam and Harry looked at each other for a moment, then at Louis, then at me.

“Alright.” Both said in unison.

I turned back to Louis who was watching us curiously, no trace of a smile anywhere. His eyes were hard and cold as he listened to the conversation unfold.

“Louis, maybe you should take a seat.” I said gesturing to the lounge chair in the corner of the room.

He nodded once before strutting over and easing himself into the chair.

I sat down across from Louis, I contemplated how to bring about this conversation without it sounding like I was some major freak… which I reality, I kind of am.

“Would you believe me if I said that I knew when people would die?” I asked looking up at Louis to gage his expression.

Louis was completely blank.

“No.”

Liam scoffed from behind me. I turned around giving him a pointed look before returning my attention to Louis.

“Okay, what about if I said that I knew exactly what you were going to do today at the racetrack?”

“I’d say you’re a loon.”

“Well that’s not too far off.” I mumbled under my breath.

A firm hand landed on my shoulder gently. Harry was sitting beside me, encouraging me to continue and reassuring me that whatever happened, it would be fine. I just hoped he was right.

“How about if I said that if we hadn’t been at the racetrack, you would be dead right now, would you believe that?”

“Probably not.”

“Are you going to believe anything he says?” Liam sneered

Louis looked up straight into Liam’s eyes.

“Not until what he says makes sense.”

“Oh for the love of god.” Liam said frustrated. He turned around to me and said “Just tell him everything. Everything from when it all started to finding Harry and I. And tell him how you came to seeing him. _Make_ him understand.”

So that’s what I did. I told Louis everything. I told him how the visions started. I told him about visions that were significant. I told him about my neighbor, and how she was the first person I knew that was in the visions. I told him about seeing Harry and Liam and how I went after them.

Louis sat quietly as I retold everything. He didn’t make a single sound the entire time. I watched Louis’ expression to see how he was reacting to the stories. There was only one expression on his face; completely and utterly blank.

As I finished off telling Louis about the vision I saw of him, Louis just sat quietly. Not a single sound. When I stopped talking, he sat watching the three of us.

He stood up and began walking to the door.

“Louis?”

“I don’t have time for this bullshit.”

“I’m not bullshitting you. You saw me have a vision in the café. You know that what I saw in the vision of you was true. You know I’m telling you the truth.”

“No I don’t. How in the hell do you expect me to believe all of that?”

“I expect you to trust me on this.”

“Why should I? I don’t know you!”

“Harry and Liam did. They didn’t know me. Why else would I have driven all the way out here?”

“Yeah, well I’m not either of them. I don’t trust you and I don’t believe you. And about you driving out here, that’s your own fucking problem.”

Louis stood by the door, anger rippling off of him. The tension in the room was thick. Liam and Harry stood off to the side, watching the confrontation at hand. Neither said a word, they knew that Louis would have to come to terms with this on his own accord.

“Hey Zayn?”

Harry’s voice was shaky as he called my name. I looked over at him; he was visibly pale and shaking with anxiety. I grew worried as I saw the fear that Harry had in his eyes. I didn’t even know what he was so afraid of, but whatever it was, it was really shaking up the young lad.

“You said Louis saw you have a vision. What was it?”

The vision. I had almost forgotten about the vision.

“Right, well… hold on.”

I got up off the bed and walked over to the pile of luggage that was sitting beside the TV. I pulled out my backpack and started rifling through the assortment of junk that cluttered the tattered bag.

I pulled out the worn sketch book and walked back over to the bed. Opening the book, my eyes traced across the various faces of people who have since passed on.

The dark splotches of colors must have caught their eye as Liam and Harry walked over and sat behind me looking down at the book.

I flipped through the pages trying to locate the page I was looking for.  I landed on the first sketch of the boy. Behind the picture I had stapled the second vision to it.

I pulled both pictures out and handed them to Liam and Harry.

“I saw him again.”

I reached into my pocket, pulling out a pencil. I flipped to an unused page and began sketching out the latest vision.

“He was drowning himself this time.”

The sketch itself was very rough, but it got the idea across just fine.

“He just looked so defeated and I saw the scars on his wrist from his last attempt. I guess I also spoke while I was in the vision.”

Liam looked up at me. “You did? What were you saying?”

All three of us jumped when we heard Louis’ voice answering Liam’s question.

“He was saying stuff like ‘ _this isn’t possible’_ and ‘ _this can’t be happening again’_ and screaming ‘no’ over and over again.”

“’Weird.” Harry mumbled as he looked over the sketches and the notes written on them.

“Right. So he’s still alive, I just don’t know where he’s at. I have no name, no location, no nothing.”

“Have you thought of looking up hospital records?” Louis said.

I looked over at Louis, bewildered by his response. What happened? One minute he was about to leave, the next he’s… helping?

“Uh no I haven’t.”

“Well if he’s attempted suicide twice before, the hospital would have records of it. If you can find a way to get hospital records for places around the UK, you should be able to find him.”

“Hey Zayn? What’s this?” Liam asked pointing to the image of the boy’s first attempt at suicide.

I looked at the image, recalling everything that happened.

“It’s a flag. An Irish flag actually. It had some football team’s name on it with some signatures.”

“Maybe he’s in Ireland.” Harry responded.

“Possible.”

I looked over each of the images. This was beyond confusing. Why did this person continually try to kill himself, and why did he fail each time?

“Hey Louis? Do you know how we can get medical records for Ireland?” I asked.

“Well, my mum works at a hospital. Maybe they have a record base or something that we can look into.”

Liam looked convinced. Harry seemed surprised. And I was just tired.

“Is there a way we can look at them?”

“No one other than professionals are allowed to see them, but I’m sure I can ‘borrow’ one of the hospitals laptops to see if we can find something.”

“Perfect.”

~*~

After Louis ‘borrowed’ a hospital laptop, we all set out looking into medical records to see if we could find something that would be useful.

Harry was currently hanging off the bed playing with a rubber ball he found claiming ‘If I don’t stop for 5 minutes, my brain will implode’

Liam was dutifully looking through psychiatric reports to see if the guy was placed under some mental health care for a while.

Louis and I were looking through the Irish hospital records online. So far we’ve found nothing. It was starting to get frustrating that nothing has shown up.

“Are you sure that what you saw was right?” Louis asked. He was annoyed as well. For the past 3 hours, we’ve taken turns looking at the same computer screen coming up with nothing that will help.

“I’m sure.”

I was starting to get a thumping headache. I stood up to get a glass of water, but instead my legs buckled and I collapsed to the floor.

_I was in the boy’s bedroom again. I was seeing the boy again? Why now? The blonde headed lad was hunched over his desk, writing something. I walked closer to the boy, hovering over his shoulder to see what he was writing._

_It read._

_“ **Dear mum and dad,**_

**_I’m done. I know you’ve tried. Which is bullshit by the way. You never tried. But right now, I’m done. I’m sick of everything in this life. You would have thought that because I attempted suicide three times before that I would have just given up, but I’m not. I don’t know whether you will care or not that I’m gone, but I don’t care._ **

**_Goodbye,_ **

**_Niall Horan._ ** _”_

_The vision flickered, casting me into darkness, but soon brought me back into the vision. Only this time I was standing in a field._

_The same boy was standing before me. In his left hand hung a shiny pistol._

_No._

_The boy looked over the field. He lifted the gun to his head and pulled the trigger._

“NOOOOOOOO!” I screamed as I shoot up from where I was lying down.

My head was splitting and my eyes were so clouded that I couldn’t see anything around me.

“Zayn, calm down. Lie back down.” Liam’s calm voice told me. I lay back down on what felt like the bed.

“What happened Zayn?” Was that Harry talking?

“It… it was him. H-he shot himself. I-I have his name.”


	10. Chapter 10

My head was aching and my eyes were still clouded. But I had the name of the boy that I had seen so many times before.

Niall Horan.

I had to find him. I couldn’t screw this up. This boy needs to be stopped, because this time around, I know it will be his last attempt. I tried to sit up, but my whole body was weak and refused to let me. I felt a strong weight push me back down against the pillows.

“Zayn, you need to relax. Tell us exactly what happened.” Harry said.

“First can you hand me my sketchbook, opened to a new page, and a pencil please.”

“Can you even see?” I heard Louis say. He was right beside me, from the sound of his voice.

“No, but I don’t need to.”

I was handed the sketchbook and pencil. I started drawing everything. I drew the first part of the vision. I drew him in his room writing the suicide note, up until he took the bullet to his head. I could feel all 3 boys hovering over me as they watched the sketch take form.

“When I first got into the vision,” I started explaining, “he was hunched over his desk, writing a note. He signed his name at the bottom. The vision flickered into darkness than brought me to a field somewhere. The boy was in front of me, holding a pistol. Then he shot himself.”

“Is that why you can’t see?” Liam asked, remembering the previous conversation we had on our way up to Doncaster.

“Exactly.”

“How are your eyes now”? Harry asked

I opened my eyes slightly, the harsh light peaking through my half-closed lids.

“Better, but I’ve got a killer headache.”

“Here” Louis said handing me some pain reliever tablets and a glass of water

“Thanks.” I murmured, popping the medicine and chugging back the glass of water.

“What’s his name?” Liam said

“Can you hand me the laptop, I want to find him.” I said ignoring Liam’s question. He would see as soon as I typed it on the computer anyway.

One of the boys got up and got the laptop off of the table, bringing it over to me. I opened my eyes fully. They were still a little fuzzy, but clear enough that I could see. Liam placed the laptop in my hands. I scooted up on the bed, feeling lightheaded as I did.

I opened the one place I knew I would find the boy and get a picture to be sure it was him. Facebook. Never before was I so grateful for social media.

I typed in his name. A few people popped up, but one stuck out above the rest. A blonde headed lad with an infectious grin smiling in his profile picture. Bright blue eyes making anyone who looks, gasp for breath. He looked just the same in the picture as he did in the visions, only happier.

It was a good thing he hadn’t set any privacy settings on his profile. I was able to see that he was in Ireland, so we were right about that, in a city called Mullingar.

I looked up from the screen to have 3 sets of eyes glued to me.

“Well boys, we’re going to Ireland.”

~*~

After a plane ride and 2 trains, all 4 of us found our way into the city of Mullingar, Ireland. We figured, the sooner we found the guy, the better. Plus, I couldn’t help but shake the idea that the vision was going to happen a lot sooner than I had intended.

Three days have passed since we arrived in the town and we haven’t seen nor heard anything from the boy. We had checked as many places as we could think of. We went to different schools, shops, parks, anywhere we could think of. But nothing. I was starting to panic when we couldn’t find any trace of him. I was beginning to think that maybe we were too late and he already shot himself.

“Come on guys, I think we need to get going.” I said tiredly. We were sat in a bookstore trying to think of places that hadn’t check before. It was late already and the store was closing.

When we walked out into the night air, we started back towards the hotel.

By the time we got back to the hotel, I just wanted to crawl into the bed and sleep for days. Liam and Harry were walking into the building when I spotted a hunched up figure walking the opposite direction from us. The person was concealed by a dark coat and beanie, but his hair stuck out from underneath the hat. As the person walked underneath a street lamp, I felt my heart nearly leap out of my chest.

Sure enough, it was Niall. Louis was watching me as I looked at Niall’s retreating figure.

“Follow him, but don’t get caught.” Louis whispered. He turned around and headed into the hotel.

Slowly, my feet began moving in the direction of the boy. I didn’t know what I would say if he caught me following him. I stayed back so he wouldn’t catch me. I just wanted to see where he was going.

I followed him down several residential streets. He never straightened his posture. He just slumped the whole way. His eyes watching the ground and his hands dug deep into his pockets. It was surreal to see him in person. It was one thing to see him in a vision, but it was a whole new thing to see him in person.

I watched as Niall pulled something out of his coat. He turned and walked up a pathway and unlocked the door of a house. He went inside, leaving me out in the cold by myself. He went home.

But was this house he was in really a home? Or just an ordinary house where he lived?

I stayed and waited for a few minutes. I saw a light turn on on the top floor, only to be turned back off within a few minutes.

It was quiet. I turned around and headed back to the hotel.

Niall was alive, for now.

~*~

After 4 days in the town, we were finally getting somewhere in our search… kinda. The day after I followed Niall home, which I later thought was massively creepy, we awoke to our stomachs grumbling in hunger. We all decided to just get a box of cereal and milk from the store that way we could conserve our money.

When we entered into the grocery, all the boys took off to the cereal aisle to fight over which kind to get. I couldn’t help but laugh at them. In the short amount of time that I’ve known them, they’ve really begun to bond together and work out some of their problems together.

I was about to turn the corner into the aisle to calm whoever was losing the argument, when I saw the familiar mop of blonde hair.

Niall was walking through the store, holding a bag with filled with an assortment of boxes. I shook my head to rid the idea that he was buying things to help aid in his suicide. It was probably some food item or something.

“Hi.” I said as he got closer to me. I was nervous. I hadn’t talked to him before and I really didn’t know how this conversation would go.

Niall stopped and looked up at me, but said nothing.

“How are you this morning?”

Silence.

“Oh come one I know you can talk.” I said as Niall remained quiet.

“How would you know that, I could be a mute.” He grumbled with a hint of humor.

“See you can talk. So you’re obviously not a mute.”

“Wow smart observation.” Niall started to walk away, but I stepped in front of him to stop him from leaving.

“So how are you?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“What? I can’t ask how a person is doing.”

“I don’t like people knowing anything about me.”

“Why’s that?” well I was getting something out of this little chat… I think.

“What did I just say? I’m not going to tell you. So if you don’t mind, can you leave me alone?”

“Can’t you just hold a quick conversation with me? Please. I’m lonely.”

“I can see that. You’ve got 3 other people with you. I’m not blind.”

I turned around to see Harry, who was clutching a box of fruity pebbles, in a headlock by Liam. Louis was beside them clutching his sides in laughter.

“But they’re busy doing something else. Please, talk.”

“Why?”

“Because you look like someone who would be nice to hold a conversation with.”

“I’m not, so you’re just wasting your time.”

“That’s ok. I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Wish I could say the same.” He mumbled under his breath.

“Why do you say that?”

“No reason.” His eyes locked onto the ground. He was fidgeting as he stood before me.

“So, how are you?”

“You won’t give it up will you?”

“Not till you tell me.”

“I’m not good okay. I’m not good. I never have been fine, or great, or even ok. I’m not good. I’m shitty. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Niall replied. He walked away before I could even answer. His words ran through my head on repeat. He’s not ok, but I knew that. I knew that more than anyone.

What bothered me the most was seeing the pink, puckered skin that lay on his delicate wrists.

~*~

After my quick, and slightly disturbing, conversation with Niall, I grabbed the other boys and made our way to the check out. We hurried to the car after I briefed the about what just happened.

Lucky for us, Niall hadn’t gotten very far. We followed behind at a reasonable distance. It was enough to see him, but not enough for him to notice that he was being followed.

He was walking by himself, a backpack slung across his back, his hands shoved into his pockets. His expression was completely blank as he walked.

We followed him until he walked into a school building.

“Now what?” Harry asked.

I looked out the window of the car watching other students walk into the building.

“We wait.”

~*~

The school was close to the shops, so we spent most of the day wandering around different shops as we waited for the school day to end.

As the final bell rang, and students began making their way out of the building, I, along with Liam, Harry and Louis, were waiting for Niall to come out. People passed by, many laughing and talking with their friends, some got into their parents cars as they drove home. The school had thinned out with only a few kids dwindling back, but no sign of Niall.

“Maybe he left already?” Louis said from the back seat.

“Or, he could be doing sports.”

I turned around in my seat to look at Liam. He sighed mumbling ‘yeah I know’

“Zayn, is that him?” Harry said pointing out the front window.

I turned around to see Niall walking out of the school building.

“What do we do?” Louis asked

“We could go talk to him.” Liam suggested

“No, just wait.” I said while they chattered back and forth about what to do.

Niall was looking around the school grounds. His eyes were dull. His coat tight around his slim body, his hands covered in gloves. He looked… nervous.

When nothing happened, he started walking off in the direction that I knew was his home.

I couldn’t hear anything that was going on outside, but something must have been said to cause Niall’s body to stiffen and him to stop in his track.

He stood frozen in his spot, his eyes wide as they looked at the cold ground.

A group of large boys walked up to Niall. They started pushing him around like he was a ragdoll. Niall did nothing to fight back.

From the side of my vision, I could see Harry turn green. He’s been through the same situation before, so this must have been an unpleasant thing to witness.

The boys were rough. They started grabbing and yanking at Niall, throwing him to the ground. I wanted to stop it. I should have stopped them, but I was frozen with fear.

They beat the living shit out of him. They did everything they could to knock him to the ground and make sure he stayed there, unmoving.

After the group was satisfied with the beating, they took off, running down the street before anyone could catch them in the act.

I watched in horror how Niall’s body just lay there, limp and unmoving against the ground. What caused my stomach to churn more than anything was the defeated look Niall had on his face when he stood up and limped home.

I was physically ill and wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sob my eyes out.

But more than anything, I wanted to beat the shit out of the people who caused Niall any harm.


	11. Chapter 11

I awoke to the familiar sight that always graced me each and every morning. The simplicity of my bedroom. This was the one place that stayed consistent. My own little getaway. But even this wasn’t enough for me to stay.

I looked around the room for what I hoped would be the last time. Piles of dirty laundry lay in heaps on the floor. Empty beer cans stacked on top of each other in various locations. It wasn’t much, but it was all I really had.

I got out of my bed that was adorned in a crimson duvet, and walked over my rickety old desk.

It was sometime around half 11 or something like that. I didn’t go to school today. To be honest, it wasn’t going to help me much, it just made things worse.

I opened the top drawer to the desk, my wrist facing upwards. I stopped for a moment as I looked at the thin, pink, puckered line that lay perfectly horizontal to my pale, pale skin. I was so close that time. So damn close, but so far away. I would have been successful if my damned mother hadn’t come home sober for a change.

Reaching into the drawer, I pulled out a blank sheet of paper, and a pen.

I began writing the note. The note that would end everything. The last words I would ever get in.

I wrote:

_“Dear mum and dad,_

_I’m done. I know you’ve tried. Which is bullshit by the way. You never tried. But right now, I’m done. I’m sick of everything in this life. You would have thought that because I attempted suicide three times before that I would have just given up, but I’m not. I don’t know whether you will care or not that I’m gone, but I don’t care._

_Goodbye,_

_Niall Horan.”_

I don’t know what motivated me to sign my name, but I did anyway. I guess just so mum would know that I actually wrote it that way she wouldn’t have to use her alcoholic, drug induced brain that much.

It didn’t really matter though. I wouldn’t be here to see what would happen.

I slipped on a dark hoodie and a pair of sneakers. I reached underneath my bed, my hand grabbing hold of the smooth surface of my father’s pistol.

~*~

When I woke up the next morning, I felt worse than I did when I went to bed earlier the previous night. Not because I felt ill like before, but because I _knew_ something horrible was going to happen.

The other lads were still fast asleep. I knew that I needed to do this alone. I knew that whatever was going to happen, it was me who had to stop it.

I slipped into semi-clean clothes and headed out the door before anyone else woke up. I wrote a quick note before leaving, that way they wouldn’t worry. I just hurried out as fast as possible.

I stumbled through town looking for something out of the ordinary. Something that would explain _why_ I felt something bad was going to happen. Only a few people were walking around at this time of day. Some shop workers stood outside, talking to passing pedestrians that were headed off to work. It was somewhere around a quarter to noon. I think.

I was getting discouraged when all I saw were smiling faces of the town’s people. They all greeted me with a grin and a ‘good afternoon’ but no signs of distress. I guess that’s when it clicked. Whoever or whatever was going wrong, it wasn’t going to be in the middle of downtown.

I wanted to slap myself because I already had a feeling that I knew what was going on. I just didn’t put the pieces together when I woke up I guess. The only trouble I knew that was _going_ to happen in this town was the suicide of a certain Niall Horan. But that’s why I was here; to stop it before it even happened.

To say that I was nervous would be an understatement. I felt like I was about to shit my pants I was so terrified that I would either fail, or Niall would pull the gun on myself. I hoped neither would happen. But anything can happen with someone who’s attempted suicide for what, the fourth time now? Yeah, I was nervous.

As I walked out towards the edge of town, to places that resembled the spot I saw Niall at, my anxiety got the better of me. I felt like I was in the middle of a tunnel. You know like the ones that you can only see that speck of light at the end. Well this tunnel, it had no light. I could feel the walls around me. I could feel the damp, stuffy air inside the tunnel. But the farther and farther I went, the darker the tunnels got, the more I became afraid and the harder it got to breathe.

I looked around the area I was at. Not much was around. Mostly trees, a few houses scattered about here and there. It was a quant part of town. Very homey and peaceful. And then I saw someone that broke the peace the second I saw them.

Niall was walking several paces ahead of me. He was walking away from me, heading farther out into the countryside.

I felt my heart drop by the sight of him. He was covered in a hoodie; it was pushed up to cover his head. He walked with the same lack of self-confidence as before. It still wasn’t easy seeing Niall look so defeated. He walked on the opposite side of the road as me so I was able to make out his features slightly.

He was adorned with a black and blue, puffy eye. Several scratches lining his pale cheek. His hands shook from their spot deep in his pockets.

I followed Niall. I didn’t know where he was going, but he must have known. When he stopped, he was stood on the top of a hill overlooking a large field stretching out for miles. His posture softened as did his whole persona. He seemed content. It was one of those picture perfect moments, but the hard reality was that it was far from perfect.  It was the calm before the storm.

I was standing behind a tree a few feet behind him. I watched as Niall slouched down to the ground. His arms resting against his knees as he looked out towards the field before us. He pushed his hood back, his blonde locks falling loose. He was so calm. So, so peaceful. It looked so right to see him look at peace. But as usual, things never seem to last.

A cell phone chimed into the quiet atmosphere. Niall stiffed from where he sat. It wasn’t his phone, it was mine.

“Shit.” I muttered under my voice as I dug out my phone shutting it off. I completely spaced turning it on silent. I thought the others would have known not to call when I left the note.

Niall was on his feet looking around. I was still hidden behind the tree, completely out of view.

“Who’s there?” Niall said. He sounded scared. There was no confidence in his voice, only fear.

I stayed back. I didn’t know what to do. Niall knew someone was watching him. This was not what was supposed to happen.

“Who’s out there?” Niall yelled. He was no longer afraid. He was anger. I peeked out from behind the tree. Niall was looking around, listening for the slightest movement.

I held my breath, hoping that I wouldn’t make a sound. I stayed absolutely still.

Niall stepped forward. He began walking closer to me. As he came closer, I tried to move around the tree silently, to stay out of view.

I swear nothing ever goes as planned. Of course, there had to be a twig laying just perfectly on the ground for me to step on and snap in half.

Hearing the snap, Niall whirled around to where I stood.

“I know you’re there.” Niall hissed. He moved closer to me. “Stop hiding.”

Slowly, I inched away from the tree, into view. My head was bent down. I looked up at Niall through my lashes, trying to convey that I was no harm.

“Who are you?” Niall asked. He seemed less threatening, more at ease, but still cautious.

“ ’m Zayn.” I mumbled.

“What are you doing here?”

“I-I was just walking around. Like exploring.” I lied. “Sorry, I-I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I-I’ll just leave.” I stammered.

I turned around and began walking away when I heard the cocking of the gun. A cold shiver ran through my back.

Turning around slowly, I saw something that made my blood run cold.

Niall stood facing me, holding a gun in his hand, pointing it directly at me.

“I don’t believe that you were here by _accident._ I remember you from the other day. You were following me, weren’t you?” He said his voice cold and void of emotion.

“N-no I wasn’t.”

“Sure, I’ll pretend I believe that. But you just so happened to interrupt me from something important. And I’m tired of being interrupted.” His hand shook from the weight of the gun, but he never faltered once in his words. He wasn’t telling a lie. I could tell how much Niall hated everything around him. How he was so tired of this life. He was so blank and dead. But I could have sworn there was still a flicker of life inside of him.

“Please put the gun down.” I said trying to mask any fear that may have showed,

“No Zayn, I won’t.” The way he said my name sent a chill down my spine, it sounded cynical, like he enjoyed watching the fear in my eyes.

“Please.”

“NO! I’m tired of this! I’m done.” Niall turned the gun and pointed it at himself. Niall defiantly did his research. He put the gun against the back of his head, facing up towards his skull. With one shot into the cerebellum, Niall would be dead almost instantly.

“Please don’t Niall.” I said stepping closer to Niall.

Niall’s eyebrows shoot up. I realized my mistake the second I said it. Niall never told me his name personally.

“Oh so you do know who I am.” Niall said while he pulled the hammer back on the gun, readying himself to shoot.

“Please, don’t do this.” I begged.

“Give me one reason why I should trust you. Do you even know what I have to go through? Do you know my life? No you don’t. You don’t know what a shit life I have.” Niall yelled his voice wavering slightly. He was troubled. I could see the struggle in his eyes.

“I know I don’t understand. But that still doesn’t mean you need to do this.”

“Oh don’t act like you can help. I know if I were to put this gun down, you will pretend to care, and then walk off like everyone else.”

“I’m not like everyone else. I _want_ to help. I can’t watch you do this Niall. I know I can help. Just trust me.”

“Give me one good reason I should trust you. If you can’t, I’m going to shoot you then pull this trigger on myself.” Niall wasn’t bluffing. He was dead serious.

I took in a heavy breath. My words were the only thing that would stop Niall now. One screw up and we would both be dead. So, hopefully, it’ll be enough.

“I know I don’t know what’s happened to you Niall. But what I do know is that you need someone. I know that you have tried this more times than once. I know you tried to overdose on medicine, I know about you taking the razor to your wrists, I know that you tried to drown yourself. I even knew that you would be stood here with the gun in your hand. I may not know what’s happened to you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. Why the hell would I have come all the way out here to stop you? I can’t stand here and watch you die. I want to help Niall. I won’t leave. Not like everyone else. I’m here. I care.”

I held my breath as Niall processed everything I just said.

I didn’t know if it worked, all I could think about was the sound of the trigger being pulled and a shot ringing out into the silent air. 


	12. Chapter 12

You know how they say that when you die, your whole life passes before your eyes. Well, the sad part of it was, it wasn’t my life I saw. Instead all I saw were the visions of the people in the past. All of the visions flickered before my eyes at lightning speed, bringing back every memory with them.

The bullet left the barrel of the gun, headed straight at me. I tried to move, but I was frozen. I watched as Niall’s expression stayed the same. I don’t know if he wanted to shot me or not, but either way, the bullet missed.

It whirled by me, so close that I could feel the heat radiating off of it right against my temple. It was so, so close, but just a millimeter short. I think my body went into a bit of shock. I couldn’t move nor speak; I just stared as Niall lowered the gun to his side.

“How did you know all of that? No one knows about all of that, I don’t even think my parents knew about some of those.” Niall whispered, his voice wavering and broken.

I couldn’t speak. I was having difficulty breathing. I felt like I was reliving every vision over and over again. The sound of the gun shoot sent me into a panic attack. I started shaking, my heart was thumping like mad, I felt sick to my stomach and I was in a cold sweat. The weird thing was I knew exactly what was happening. But at the same time, I didn’t. I had no control over my body. I was forced to stand there, shaking and sweating. I didn’t know what to do. All I could think about where all the deaths that had occurred that I couldn’t stop, the thoughts of future deaths, and the worst, the one thought I refused to think about, my own death.

It’s not that I was really afraid of death, it just worried me. Would I see my own death before it happened to me? If so, would I be able to stop it? Or would I just die from old age? There were so many questions about it. Then there were the questions about what happens after I died. I have seen so many deaths before, yet I didn’t know what happened after. And that thought alone scared the shit out of me.

My vision blurred as I fell to my knees. I clutched onto them, folding myself into a protective little ball. My teeth ground together as I heard the sounds of guns being fired. I knew it was my head playing tricks on me, but it still scared me.

I felt a hand press against my back. I didn’t look up. I could still feel my body shaking. The hand moved in circles, calming my tense shoulders. Words were whispered into my ear, soothing me, reassuring me that it would be alright, that I was okay. I didn’t know what to believe. I couldn’t tell who was behind me. Maybe one of the other lads came after us and found me right as the panic attack started. Or maybe I’m just losing it.

But either way, the hand and the voice were calming me down. I felt myself begin to relax under the touch. The hand stopped rubbing my back, only to be replaced by arms around my shoulders, but the calming words never stopped.

My mind cleared enough from the bad thoughts, that I could hear what the person sounded like. I guess I expected to hear Liam’s reassuring voice coaxing me out of the attack, or even Harry. I hadn’t expected to hear a distinct Irish accent speaking so sweetly to me.

I didn’t want to move out of his arms. They felt right being wrapped around me. But at the same time, I knew there was so many things wrong. Not necessarily with the feeling, but more of the moment and the person… I guess. I don’t know. It felt right, but wrong all at the same time.

Niall must have noticed that I had relaxed because he unwound his arms from my shoulders. I lifted my head away from my knees. Niall was kneeling beside me. He looked confused and … worried?

“You ok?” He asked.

I nodded my head a little, my voice still stuck in my throat.

“I uh – you were having a panic attack. I-I’ve had them before. No one ever helped me through them. I guess that’s why I helped you.” Niall whispered, his eyes moved around, looking at everything but me.

“T-thank you.” I chocked out.

He looked back at me, his bright blue eyes staring straight into mine. The slightest twitch of his lips caught my eye. It was a tiny smile, something most wouldn’t notice.

“Now, can I ask you something?”

I nodded.

“H-how did you know about all… all those other times?”

“I-I just did.”

“I think there’s more than that.”

No words. Just silence, how was I to explain to Niall that I saw him do it. Sure the gun was behind him on the ground, but I didn’t know if he was going to take it and shoot me because I’m a nut job.

“Judging by the accent, you’re English. So, why are you here and how do you know who I am and what I’ve done?” Niall asked

“I uh….”

“Just tell me. I’ll believe you. I have no reason not to. I’m not exactly in the position to judge anyway.”

“I saw you do it.” I muttered under my breath

“What? How could you have seen me do it? No one did.” Niall sounded confused, but why would he. I was basically telling him that I saw him attempt suicide when he thought he was alone.

“I um… I saw it… up here.” I said pointing towards my head. Niall’s eyes looked up to where I pointed. His eyes scrunched up, confused.

“How could you have seen it in your head? Are you saying you’re like, psychic or something?”

“Something like that. Not psychic but, I just see things. I guess.”

“Things like me trying to kill myself? What kind of things do you see?” he sounded curious, like he really did want to know.

“A lot of death.”

“How much is a lot?”

“238 visions total. But only 234 people. I’ve seen you 4 times now. I’ve watched 229 people die. I’ve only stopped 4. If I can stop you, it’d be 5 people.”

Niall was silent.

“It’s 5… for now.” he said.

I felt like I could breathe a little easier. I had stopped Niall from killing himself. But it wasn’t a promise that he wouldn’t try to again. It was just a ‘for now’. He could change his mind at any moment. But right now, it was all I needed to hear.

“Come on.” Niall said standing up. He picked the gun up, placing it back into his pocket, away from view. He started walking away.

I stood up and followed.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“My house.”

“Why?”

“Because, I’m not staying there anymore. I’m leaving. I want to get out of here. You live in England right? Well, hope you don’t mind, but I’m going with you.”

~*~

The house looked different in the daylight. I didn’t resemble a home, just a house on a street. Just another place for people to sleep.

Niall walked up the pathway. I could see the tension in his back. He didn’t want to go in. He turned around and looked at me, almost pleading that I go in with him.

So I did.

I walked up the steps facing the front door. Niall opened it, stepping inside.

Inside the small house was well, not a whole lot. There was a couch and a television. That was basically all the room had. A lot of alcohol bottles were scattered around the room. Niall pushed through the mess and headed up the stairs. I followed close behind.

At the far end of the hall on the top floor, Niall pushed open a door. I walked in behind. Every vision of Niall hit me with full force. It all seemed so familiar. Everything was the same.

Niall walked around the room, picking up items and stuffing them into a bag. He took the suicide note off the desk and crumpled it up.

A load banging noise sounded from downstairs. Niall looked up.

“Shit.” He muttered to himself.

I looked over at him. He was rushing around the room, collecting whatever he could and stuffing into his bag.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dad’s home.” He muttered.

Load stomping echoed into the room. Niall’s bedroom door was thrown open. A man with wild, bloodshot eyes stood in its place.

“Where the fuck do you think your going?” He spat at Niall.

“None of your business.” Niall said as he picked up a few articles of clothing.

“Yes it is. Now where the fuck are you going?”

“Away from here. I’m leaving.” Niall looked up at his father.

“No you’re not.”

“Yeah I am. I’m leaving and don’t expect me to come back.”

“Funny, you have no place to go. No one wants you. You’re a piece of shit. You would die out there.”

“Yeah, but as I recall, I’ve tried to die before. So what’s the difference?”

“Listen you little asshole. You’re going nowhere. Ya hear me?” his father said pointing a finger at Niall.

“No, I don’t.”

Niall slung his bag over his shoulder and headed toward the door. I was stood frightened in the room. I didn’t know what Niall’s father was capable of. He was terrifying. Niall walked over to me, he grabbed my shoulder and started pushing me out of the room.

“I said, you aren’t going anywhere.” His father shouted. He grabbed at Niall, pulling him back.

I watched as Niall struggled against his father’s grip. His father took a swing at Niall. He missed.

Niall reached into his pocket and pulled out the gun. He aimed it at his father.

The older man chuckled. He released Niall from his grip.

“What’re gonna do? Shoot me?”

Niall picked up his bag from where it fell to the floor. He started backing away.

“Let’s go.” Niall said to me.

I started walking away, heading down the stairs.

“I should kill you, but I won’t. You can kill yourself.”I heard Niall mutter to his father before taking off down the stairs.

Niall dropped the gun by the front door. We ran away from his father and Niall’s old life. He would come live with me and Liam, Harry, and Louis. Hopefully it would be for the better, because I doubt I could handle seeing Niall in another vision again.


	13. Chapter 13

Together Niall and I ran as fast as our feet would take us. I had no idea if Niall’s father would go after us. I followed Niall as he turned down random streets that I didn’t recognize. I had no idea where we were going. Abruptly, Niall stopped. I slammed into his back, knocking us both to the ground.

“Sorry.” I muttered as I rolled off of Niall.

Niall sat up, holding the back of his head, winching at the pain.

“’s okay.”

“Why’d you stop?” I asked.

Niall looked at me. He rolled his eyes at me like the answer should be obvious.

“I have no idea where we’re going.” He retorted.

“Oh, uh well we should probably go to the hotel, and then leave for the airport as soon as possible.”

“Ok. Since there’s like one hotel here, I’m assuming it’s that one.” Niall said pointing up at a brick building in front of us.

“Yep.”

We stood up and walked over to the building. Room 211. I reached into my pockets, looking for the key card. Niall rolled his eyes again while I looked. His fist pounded against the door.

Looking up, I shot Niall a questioning look.

“What?” He snapped.

The door of the room flung open. All three of the lads were on the other side.

“Oh thank God you’re not dead.” Harry said flinging himself at me.

“Nice to see you too Haz.” I said while I patted Harry’s mass of curls down and away from my face.

I could see Liam and Louis looking at Niall from their spot in the door. Liam eyed the Irishman curiously, where Louis just gave him the stink eye, which was rather interesting.

“You must be Niall.” Liam said sticking his hand out for Niall to shake.

“Uh, yeah. That’d be me.”

“It’s nice to see you alive.” Louis grumbled.

I shot a glare at Louis. He rolled his eyes at me before turning his back on me. _Great he’s being sassy again._ Niall shrank in on himself, his head hanging low, shuffling his feet. He wasn’t comfortable.

“Li, we need to get packing to leave.”

“Way ahead of ya mate.” Liam stepped aside to show a clean room with our bags packed and waiting by the door.

“Perfect, then let’s get going.”

~*~

The trip back to England wasn’t that bad. It was just filled with way to much awkward silence and tension in the air. I don’t know what got into Louis, but he was being extra pissy and he wanted nothing to do with anyone. The only person he would really talk to was Harry, and even he mentioned that Louis was being a bit of an ass.

Liam seemed to have lightened up since Niall and I returned. He had really grown attached since I met him, and I was grateful for that. I liked having Liam around. He was great with details and incredibly smart. If it weren’t for him, who the hell knows where I would have been with the whole vision shit. Louis would probably be dead for sure.

Harry was just… Harry. He was just a bouncing ball of energy. But as the plane flew over the Irish Sea, Harry was staring out the window, ignoring everything around him. I watched as his fingers ran across his arms, against the slightly scared skin. I never knew what to do in these situations. One moment Harry would be fine, the next he’d be lost in his memories.

Niall slept the entire way there. Even when we got off the plane and into my car, he stayed silent and slept. I don’t really know if he was actually sleeping, or just ignoring everyone.

As I pulled the car into the drive, I was anxious to get out and stretch my legs. I popped open the boat of the car telling the boys to get their stuff and meet me in the house.

I walked up the steps, looking at the house I was so familiar with. Nothing was different, but I had that little itch in the back of my head that something wasn’t right.

Opening the door, I stepped into the house. I knew Mum should be home today. It was her day off at work so I would be able to great her when I came in.

“Mum?” I called out into the house. No answer. I saw her car in the drive, so she had to be home. I called out again, waiting for a response. Nothing.

I stepped into the den. I felt my body grow cold. My stomach twisted into knots and I felt like I was going to be sick.

My mother hung over the side of the couch. Her arms coated with dried, dark blood.  She lay there, motionless. She was gone.

I was confused. I wasn’t here to stop her. I didn’t know. I had no idea she was going to do this. I felt like I was about to collapse. Nothing made sense. I didn’t see her. I had no vision of her doing this. This wasn’t right. I always saw when people did this, so why not with my own mother. I could have saved her. But I wasn’t here. I was gone for a week. How could this have happened?

A note lay on the table. I picked it up and read it. All it said was she was sorry and that she loved me, that it wasn’t my fault. But she left no explanation. She just left and I didn’t know why.

“Hey Zayn where do y-” A voice said but cut off short. I didn’t bother turning around. I didn’t care. My mother was dead, and I couldn’t have done anything to stop it. I was clueless.

“I didn’t see her.” I whispered. I walked closer to my mum’s side, taking her hand, rubbing her palm. Her hands were ice cold.

“What do you mean?” Someone said, I don’t know who.

“I didn’t see her. No vision. Nothing. I had no idea. She’s gone.”

I could feel my eyes brim with tears. I didn’t want to cry. I wanted answers. Nothing made any sense. Why the fuck didn’t I see my own mother take her life? If I had, she would still be alive. I wouldn’t have lost the person that means the most to me.

“Please call someone. Just… please.”

I sat on the edge of the table, looking at my lifeless mother.

I bent down to her ear. Pushing back her soft, dark hair, I leaned forward, pressing my lips closer to her ear “I love you mummy.” I whispered. I hope she heard me. I kissed her forehead. I did exactly what I didn’t want to do.

I cried.

~*~

A week passed since Mum’s death. I was still confused. I felt lifeless. Nothing made any sense anymore. I had no motivation to do anything anymore. I just wanted to go back in time and stop her. I missed her so fucking bad. I couldn’t help shake the idea that I was a cause of her suicide. I know she said I wasn’t, but that had to have been a lie. She was probably lonely; something I could have prevented if I was there.

I hadn’t heard much from the other 4 boys. They remained respectful of what happened. They kept their distance while I mourned and planned my mum’s funeral.

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. But I had to for my mum. It was hard to tell my sisters, who were living with my dad, that our mum was gone. They yelled at me. They blamed me. They said it was my fault that she was gone. I agreed with them. I believed it was my fault too.

The day of the funeral was difficult. It was a small gathering. Only family and friends. It was the first time in months that I saw my sisters; I just wish it was on better terms. I don’t remember much about what happened. I just sat quiet, listening to people speak before they laid her underneath the ground.

Liam, Harry, Louis and even Niall where there. They may not have all met Mum, well Harry and Liam had, but they were kind enough to show up. I didn’t expect them too, mostly because I’ve kind of been avoiding them.

I hadn’t had a vision for weeks. Since the vision of Niall and the gun anyways. It was weird. It was the longest stretch of time that I could remember going without one. I wasn’t complaining, but at the same time, people were dying that I could be stopping.

A knock sounded at my door. I looked up to see Liam’s worried face looking in on me.

“Hey Zayn. You doing alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I mumbled curling up further underneath my blankets. I hadn’t left my bed all morning.

Liam sighed. He pushed his way through the room, stopping beside my bed. He sat down on the edge, looking at me with pity.

“It wasn’t your fault Zayn.” He said quietly

“Yes it was.” I grumbled

“No it wasn’t. You didn’t see anything, so how could you have known.”

“I’m her son. I should have been able to tell. I left her to save you guys. I’m not sorry about that, but I still lost the one person that means the most to me.”

“I know Zayn. She loved you. You were probably the last thing on her mind, probably the one thing she held onto.”

“But I wasn’t enough for her to stay.”

Liam sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. His eyes were so concerned.

“I’m fine Liam. It’s just hard.”

“I know.” Liam patted my leg.

“You know, I’m really glad you stopped me.” He said looking out the window to the side of my bed. “I really thought there was no other way out. I was so tired of all the shit that was going on. But then you and Haz stopped me. I’m really grateful for that. You gave me a second life.”

I watched Liam’s face; he was staring calmly out the window as he thanked me. Yet I didn’t even know why he was going to jump in the first place.

“Why were going to jump in front of the train?” I asked

Liam looked over at me, he smiled lightly.

“I was harassed a lot. School was hell. People would mock me, and make fun of me. It sounds stupid when I say it, but they were horrible people. I would have the shit beat out of me every day. I was tired of it. It got worse when everyone found out I was Bi. I didn’t understand why they cared so much. But it got worse.” Liam lifted the bottom of his shirt up to reveal his stomach. Against the pale, toned skin were words.

“People would pin me down and carve these words into my skin.” He said point to some of them. They read things like ‘freak’ ‘queer’ ‘faggot’ and so many other hurtful words. “At that point, I just wanted it to stop. The day before I was going to jump, a guy came up to me. He tried to rape me I think. I kind of pushed that memory aside. I was strong enough that I could push him away, but he still caught up to me. He shoved me to the ground.”

Liam turned around and pulled up the back of his shirt. In large letters that covered his entire back was the word ‘worthless.’ “I guess I felt he was right. I was in so much pain and I was tired of everything. That’s when I decided to jump. But you stopped me. I guess that’s why I was so angry at first. Because of what everyone did to me. I’m glad you stopped me. I would have regretted it.”

“What a load of shit.”

Liam and I turned to see Niall leaning against the door. He had a scowl on his face.

“Excuse me?” Liam asked irritated.

“You think that that was so bad that you were going to kill yourself. That’s nothing compared to others.”

“Fuck you. It was enough to send me over the edge. Just because my story doesn’t compare to yours doesn’t mean you have the right to judge mine.”

“Fucking pathetic.” Niall muttered. He turned his back and strutted out the door.

I watched as Liam grew angry. Niall was way out of line in what he said. That wasn’t called for. He should have respected Liam’s story. My own anger grew as I watched Liam crumple in on himself.

“I’ll go talk to him.” I said to Liam.

I stood up and followed after Niall.

I found him in the garage, pacing back and forth. He looked lost between annoyance, and being upset. _Weird._

I stomped over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop his movements.

“You act like you’re the only one who’s had problems Niall. You aren’t the only one.” I snapped at him.

“Duh, but he didn’t have to go through half the shit I did.”

“So you think it would have been better that he did?”

“No of course not. I just hate when people act like their lives were so hard when people have it worse.”

“You’re being selfish. You don’t understand what they dealt with. To them, those things were the worst things to go through.”

“Yeah but those other 3 people in there, they still have people that care about them. I don’t. You heard it yourself from my dad. I’m a piece of shit that no one wants.”

“That’s not true Niall. People do care. You just don’t want to see it.”

“That’s bullshit. I would know. People wander into my life and hurt me just as bad as everyone else. No one gives a damn.”

“No—”

“No Zayn, shut up will you. I was going to kill myself because no one cared. My life is total shit. You don’t even realize what has happened to me. Not one single person in this world would care if I were dead.”

I looked at Niall who was trembling with anger. He really believed no one cared. There was so much hidden underneath that he refused to let out. He was broken in more ways than one. I don’t know what came over me, but I surged forward, grabbing Niall by his collar, pushing him back against the cold wall. I forced him to look at me. His cold, flat blue eyes stared into mine.

Something about the look in his eyes caused me to snap. It was something I tried to suppress since I met Niall, but that wall was broken. I moved forward, placing my lips onto his. He stiffened under my touch. I knew he would. I kissed him gently. I poured every ounce of emotion I had into the kiss.

I pulled away, meeting Niall’s eyes again. His eyes were no longer flat and cold, they were wide, confused, and so many different things mixing into one.

“Don’t _ever_ think that I don’t care.” I stated firmly.

I let my hands drop to my side. I took a step back from Niall. He was frozen against the wall.

“I-I need to go.” Niall muttered his head downcast toward the floor. “I’ll be back later.”

I didn’t move from my spot. Niall slipped away and left, leaving me standing alone. I probably stepped over every boundary there was, but it didn’t matter. I guess it was now or never. Niall would decide whether or not he wanted to stay, or leave… forever.

~*~

“Zayn, he’ll be back any moment.” Harry said.

I was pacing up and down the room. Ever since Niall walked away, I was freaking out. It had be 4 hours since he left and I hadn’t heard a word from him. I didn’t know if he was still alive, or dead. He was gone and I had no way of finding him.

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“He will. He has nowhere else to go.”

“But what if he tries to kill himself again.”

“He won’t.” Louis said.

My mobile chimed with an incoming call. I looked at the phone, not recognizing the number.

“Hello?” I said answering the phone.

I felt my stomach drop. The phone slipped out of my hands and clattered to the ground.

“Zayn, what’s wrong?” Liam asked worried.

“Niall’s in the hospital.”


	14. Chapter 14

Hearing the call from the hospital caused one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had in my life. I had no idea what happened, or what was going on. All I knew was Niall was in the hospital, lying in an uncomfortable bed, hooked up to machines while he his body fought for life.

I don’t remember how I got to the hospital. All I remembered was skidding to a halt in front of the receptionist’s desk located in the intensive care unit. Intensive care. Fuck. What the hell happened to him?

“Can I help you?” The women behind the desk asked as she flashed a false smile.

“Uh, Niall Horan was just brought in here.”

The women typed away at the computer.

“And your name is?”

“Zayn Malik.”

“Alright Mr. Malik, he is in room 412, head down the hall and hang a right.”

“Thank you.”

I turned away from the desk, walking down the sterile hallway. Everything in this building made my skin crawl. I hated hospitals, ever since my accident, I feared them. They were too clean. The smell of antiseptics stung my nose. It was far too bright. Doctors and nurses acted like they cared about the peoples well being, but that had to be a lie. All these people here are so desensitized that they don’t even feel a pang of sadness when a patient dies. They’re there to do their job. People died in here. How could I ever feel comfortable here?

Niall’s room wasn’t that far, yet it felt like it took me an eternity to reach it. People walked around the halls, bumping into me as they headed in their own direction. No one here was aware of the things Niall was going through, none of them would care if he didn’t make it out of the ICU. I would though. I would care a lot. From the first vision I received of Niall, I knew he was something special. There was a reason I saw him, whether we knew what it was, he had a purpose in this life.

Placards read off the room number, they increased as I walked the few feet down the hall.

409 – 410 – 411

412\. The room Niall was lying behind. I put my hand on the door handle, meaning to push the door open. But I couldn’t. I had so much fear of what lay behind that door. I don’t know what kind of condition Niall was in. Was he even alive? I had to know, I had to make sure he was alive. I wasn’t about to leave him now.

I pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit. Machines beeped loudly in the otherwise silent room. Several tubes trailed from the machines to the bed. Niall lay in the bed. He looked like he was sleeping. But that was just how it looked from where I stood by the door.

I walked closer, deeper into the room, closer to Niall. As I got closer, Niall looked even worse than I thought. His skin was so pale it looked translucent. A breathing tube was plunged deep into his throat. Needles littered Niall’s thin arms. I would have thought he was dead if it weren’t for the heart monitor to his left, the heart line rising and falling with every breath he took. He was so peaceful looking even through all the needles and tubes.  

“Are you Mr. Malik?” I jumped from the voice behind me. I turned around to see a man in a white overcoat standing in the doorway looking at me.

“Yes I am.”

The man walked forward, sticking his hand out in my direction.

“I’m Dr. Robertson. It’s nice to meet you.” I grabbed his hand and shook it. My hands were shaking, he must have noticed, but he didn’t say anything.

“You too.”

“Well, Niall got himself in a bit of situation don’t you think.” The doctor chuckled as if this whole situation was funny to him.

“What happened?” My voice was so quiet.

“Niall was hit by a vehicle. Witnesses saw him cross the street when a drunk driver turned a corner and collided with him. He dislocated a rib, which punctured his lung. When he arrived in the ER, he was rushed into surgery to repair the tear that the rib left in his right lung. Other than that, he only received minor cuts and bruises. We have him under a medicated coma to help aid in the recovery of his lung for the time being.”

“So it wasn’t his fault?”

“Not at all, it was the result of bad timing and an alcoholic driver.”

A wave of relief rushed through me. I felt on the verge of collapse. Knowing that Niall hadn’t intentionally got hit was enough for me to know that everything may work out. I just hoped his body was strong enough to pull through and heal.

“How did they know to call me?” I was probably the last person they should have called. Yet they called me. How did they even know to call me?

“Niall was conscious for 2 minutes when he arrived in the ER, he said to call Zayn. When we searched through his phone contacts, you were the only person by the name of Zayn.”

 “I’ll just do a few checks on the machines and then I’ll be on my way.” Dr. Robertson said. I watched as he fiddled with a few of the machines, jotted down some notes before nodding at me and heading out the door.

The room was left in silence aside from the beeping heart monitor. I walked slowly over to Niall’s side. He looked worse up close. Dark bruises lay under his eyes. His skin looked so papery thin. I reached up, grabbing hold of Niall’s hand. It was limp under my touch, but warm.

I sank down into the seat beside the bed. It was so, so quiet. The silence was deafening. The heart monitor was the only thing that brought noise into the small white room. I couldn’t even hear Niall’s breathing; he just lied there, silent.

“I’m sorry.” I spoke to Niall. He was unconscious, but I needed to talk to him. He needed to know what I felt, what I needed to say. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you. I wasn’t there to stop you. I couldn’t have stopped the car. I could have pulled you out of harm’s way. But I wasn’t there. I promised that I would help, but I think I just made it worse. If I hadn’t kissed you, you wouldn’t have left and you wouldn’t have been hit. I’m so sorry for that.

“But I’m still here. I won’t leave you Niall. I said I wouldn’t leave, and I won’t. I’ll be here when you open your eyes. Just, I don’t know. I know that you’ve had to deal with _a lot_ of shit in your life. I may not know what happened to you, but I know you didn’t deserve it. Any of it. Whatever happened, I’m sorry.

“I’m sorry that no one was there to help. You were alone. You shouldn’t ever be alone. You are worth so much. You may not believe it, but you are meant to do something in this life. I think because you never succeeded in suicide so many times before, I think it was because you’re supposed to be doing something great in this life. You have a purpose. I don’t know what it is. You might not know what it is, but you will. I’ll help you figure it out, that is, if you want me too.

“I feel awful that you’re in here. I just need you to know how sorry I am that I’ve caused this. I want to see you happy Niall. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a smile on your face every day. You deserve to laugh. I bet you have a great laugh. You should wake up and live without fear of anything, to live and laugh and just be you. Please pull through this Niall. Please don’t leave. You can’t leave now that I’ve finally found you. Please don’t leave. Just stay.” My voiced dropped to a whisper. My words floating into deaf ears.

I fell asleep, my head resting on Niall’s hospital bed. My hand never left his. That night, the nightmares began.

~*~

_Fire was everywhere. Wherever I turned, there was a blazing fire. The flames licked up the sides of buildings, engulfing anything it could touch. Smoke clouded my vision. I couldn’t breathe from the amount of smoke filtering through the air._

_Screams could be heard in the distant. I turned and turned in circles, looking around, searching for anything I could recognize. People ran up and down the street, covered in the blazing fire. They screamed out in terror. Everywhere I turned, people were running, scared, screaming, and fighting for life. People were collapsing, people were dying._

_I looked over my shoulder. I felt cold in the sweltering heat. Niall stood behind me. His body coated in the horrible flames. I reached out to him, but he didn’t see me. He looked around in terror, his screams ripping into my ears. I was useless. I couldn’t stop it. Niall hunched over, falling to the ground, screaming in agony as the fire burnt at his flesh._

_I watched in horror as Niall’s body convulsed. He let out a blood curtailing scream._

“Zayn!”

I shoot up out of my seat. My heart was racing. I looked around the dimly lit room. Niall lay motionless in the bed; just the same way he was when I fell asleep. I swear I could still smell the fire and the burning flesh. My stomach twisted into knots. I ran my hand over my face, wiping away the sweat dripping off of me.

Liam stood beside me, looking on in concern.

“Are you alright?” He asked

I looked at him. He wasn’t surrounded in fire. The dream… nightmare, wasn’t real.

“Uh, yeah just a nightmare.”

I brought my hand back to intertwine with Niall’s. He was still perfectly still.

“Maybe you should head home, get some rest or something. I can stay here.”

“No. I’m not leaving him.”

“But Za-”

“No… I’m staying.” I stated firmly.

Liam pouted at me, but let the subject drop.

“He’ll be fine, right?” I asked. I wasn’t sure anymore. I was so terrified that Niall wouldn’t pull through, that he would end up living in Hell. Maybe that was the dream, maybe I was seeing Hell. _No I’m not going to think like that._

 “Yes he will. He won’t leave you.” Liam sounded so assured. So certain that he would be okay, but I still didn’t know.

“Please don’t leave.” I whispered against Niall’s pale hand. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit different, but you’ll figure it out.

I was surrounded by darkness. Everywhere I turned all I saw was pure blackness. I turned, looking for a way out, a way to get away from the darkness. But there was nothing. My body felt heavy, completely weighed down and exhausted. I felt the familiar creeping feeling of lose. I was losing this fight. It should have scared me, but I was excited. I was finally going to succeed in ending my life. I let my body relax, to calm down and embrace the darkness as it pulled me into an eternal sleep. I felt nothing, just a calming peaceful feeling I guess.

_Please don’t leave._

The words were so, so quiet. Almost as if they weren’t even there. They sounded nonexistent, like they never happened. However, I knew I heard them. Those three little words shouldn’t have meant anything, they should have just been. I hadn’t expected them to be said with meaning.

Those tiny, silent words were said with purpose and care. Whoever whispered those few words said them so that I would hear them. I should have ignored them. I should have let my body slip into the sweet slumber of death, but those words clung to me. They wouldn’t leave. Hearing those words, I realized it was the first time someone ever said something to me that was full of concern and care. I never had that in my life. No one cared about me. But now I knew someone did. Someone was sitting beside my body, wherever that lay, caring about whether I could crawl back into life and out of the darkness.

Maybe that’s why I began to push. I fought against the darkness that surrounded me. I forced my frail body back into life. I wasn’t supposed to be in the dark. I needed to be where the quiet voice lay.

I pushed and pushed, fighting the dark. I didn’t see any white light or magical flash of light as I was brought back into my body. Instead, I felt pain. White blistering heat ripped through every pore of my body. Then I felt the ache in my head and the heaviness in my chest. My body was sore and achy. My head was pounding, the roar of blood rushing to my ears. It seriously felt as if there was an elephant sat on my chest.

I peeled my eyes open, squinting at the bright, florescent lights. My eyes adjusted to the light. It was white, very, very white where I lay. I felt a pressure in my hand; I looked over to see Zayn leaning his head against the bed, his hand intertwined with mine, and his thumb rubbing circles into my palm. The feeling was nice; it was the only thing in my body that didn’t hurt.

I opened my mouth to speak. It was croaky and dry, very rough as I tried to speak. I swallowed, but there was nothing in my mouth to coat my throat. Instead, I curled my fingers around Zayn’s, halting his roving thumb. I heard Zayn sigh and then jump in surprise. His wild brown eyes turned onto mine.

“Hey.” I croaked out, wincing at the dryness of my throat.

“Oh my God, you’re awake.” Zayn said quietly. He launched himself at me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders carefully.

If I was feeling any better, I would have laughed. Zayn’s arms were tight, but gentle, around my shoulders. It felt right to have him holding me close. If I was being honest, I liked it.

He pulled back, sitting back down on the hard plastic chair beside the bed. I felt his hand reach back for mine. He held my hand tight.

I tried to speak, but it hurt too much.

“Oh here.” Zayn reached over and picked up a cup on the side table. He brought the cup to my lips, tilting it back, allowing the water to flow down my throat. It stung slightly, but the cool water was refreshing and nice against my raw throat.

“Thank you.” It didn’t hurt as much to speak this time.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit. I hurt everywhere. What happened to me?”

Zayn sighed, rubbing his fingers against my hand. I think he did it to distract himself, but he meant to do it to comfort me.

“You were hit by a car. You’ve been in a medicated coma for two weeks now. One of your ribs was dislocated when you were hit and punctured one of your lungs. They just took out the breathing tube a few days ago because you were improving tremendously.”

“Damn.” I muttered. I couldn’t remember everything that happened. Everything was hazy about what happened. I don’t even recall being hit by the car.

Zayn didn’t say anything; he just stared down at our hands. I squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked back up at me.

“I was walking back to your house. I remember that. I was going back. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

He didn’t say anything. He must have been speechless. His eyes clouded over, lost in something I didn’t know.

“You know your heart stopped for a minute. You were dead for a minute.” Zayn whispered so quietly. He looked horrible. I don’t know why I didn’t notice before, but Zayn looked close to death himself. There were bags under his eyes, heavy and dark. From the looks of it, he hasn’t slept for days.

“I-I didn’t know.” That was surprising. I didn’t realize I had actually died. It was something I wanted for so long, but now that I knew I had died, it made me sick.

“When they got your heart started again, they weren’t sure if you would wake up or not.” Zayn was so distant, he was clutching to my hand harder, holding on for dear life, as if I was going to disappear at any moment.

“Zayn –”

“I was scared that I had lost you.”

“Zayn did you speak to me while I was unconscious?”

“Yeah why?”

“I think I heard you. I heard your voice. It was the thing that pushed me out of the darkness. I was so ready to give up, but then I heard you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave you, it’s just… I don’t know. You stopped me from giving in.”

“I’m glad. You aren’t ready to die. You’re still young, you deserve to live.”

“Thanks Zayn.”

Zayn leaned over; he was so close to me. He just looked at me, looking into my eyes. I saw how much he cared. I pulled my hand away from his. I placed my freed hand against his cheek, rubbing my thumb against his cheekbone, guiding him closer to me. I kissed him this time. It was my choice now. I wanted this. I wanted Zayn. I wanted to feel like everything would be alright, and I knew he would give that to me. That’s why I kissed him.

When our lips parted, I smiled, but then got caught up by the throbbing pain in my head and chest. Zayn must have caught on. I saw him reach up and press the call button beside the bed. Seconds later, a nurse walked in.

“It’s good to see you’re awake, Niall. How are you feeling?” The nurse said to me.

“Awful,” I replied “I’m hurting a lot.”

“Well I’ll give you something that will help with that.” She said, flashing a dazzling smile at me.

“That would be wonderful.”

The nurse walked out of the room only to return with a bottle and syringe full of medication. She pulled the clear fluid into the syringe from the bottle and back out into the IV stuck in my hand. She smiled at me once before leaving again. The doctor would be in soon, I’m not positive I wanted to hear what he had to say or not.

“You alright?” Zayn asked.

“Yes. I’m just thinking.”

“What about?”

“What’s going to happen now? What would have happened if I had died?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“We?”

Zayn ducked his head down, hiding the blush I knew was there.

“That’s only if you want, you know.”

“I would like that.” Zayn lifted his head and smiled softly at me, but was dropped when a yawn escaped his lips.

“You should sleep. I bet you haven’t slept for a while.”

“I guess I haven’t. But I’m really not all that tired.” As he said that he let out another yawn.

“Liar. Please rest.” The drugs were starting to take effect. I knew I could use a few winks of sleep myself.

“Alright.”

I watched as Zayn laid his head down on the mattress, closing his eyes. He never once let my hand drop.

~*~

_I was in the nightmare again. I watched as fire tore through everything it touched. It was the same every time I slipped into sleep over the last two weeks. I turned and turned but there was still nothing. Only people running and screaming as the fire burned at their skin._

_I saw Niall. He was hunched up on the ground, screaming, crying, shaking as the flames burned his frail body. I reached out to him, but I couldn’t do anything. Nothing I could say or do would be able to stop the flames from destroying._

_A cracking noise sounded from above. I tore my eyes from Niall and looked at the sky. A single droplet of water hit my forehead. And then another, and another. Soon the whole area I was standing in was being pelted with rain. I looked back at Niall. The rain was extinguishing the flames. He was still battered and broken against the ground, but he was no longer suffering from the pain of the fire._

_He rolled onto his back, his face looking at the sky as the last bit of fire was snuffed out. And then he laughed. He laughed at the sky and the rain and the people dancing around, soaking up the rain. He laughed because he was no longer living a life where he was surrounded by something that was going to destroy him. The rain set him free. Niall was finally free._


	16. Chapter 16

Niall was released from the hospital, after 3 and half weeks, a few days after he woke up. He was given strict orders not to overexert himself, and only to relax and take it easy.

In all reality, it was the first time in 3 and half weeks since I’ve been home myself. I refused to leave Niall’s side. Liam and Harry kept pestering me to go home for a day to catch some sleep, but I refused. Louis understood why I didn’t want to leave. They all came to visit every now and again. I would watch as Liam and Harry would beg me to go home for a few hours, which I always refused. Louis would always be behind them, giving me a supportive look. He would always be the one to convince Liam and Harry that I had no intention of leaving.

But now we got to go home. It would be nice to sleep in my own bed instead of awkwardly in a chair. I was a little frightened to go back. After Mum passed away, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in the same house anymore.

Niall was sat in the passenger seat of my car as I drove home from the hospital. He seemed a lot more relaxed. The change that happened in Niall was… weird. I think in a good way though. He seemed happier, calmer, and less angry. I don’t know… it’s just a drastic change on Niall’s part.

When we got to my house, Liam, Harry and Louis bounded outside, tackling both Niall and I in hugs. They were excited to see us home after such a long period of time. We walked into the house and it looked just the same, except the couches had been replaced. I could smell the sweet scent of baked goods in the kitchen. I followed my nose to see the kitchen brimming with sweets and pastries.

“Harry cooks when he’s nervous.” Louis said as he walked into the kitchen, picking up a cookie and shoving it in his mouth.

“I can tell.” I laughed. It was the first time I laughed in over… well several weeks if not months. My life has been so centered on stopping people’s deaths that I forgot what it was like to live.

The visions stopped. I haven’t had a vision in over a month. The last one was of Niall. I haven’t had one since. I was glad they stopped, but at the same time, I feel like I’m missing such a big part of me.

“How’s Niall doing?”

“A lot better.”

“I know Li and Haz don’t think this, but I’m glad you never left Niall’s side. He needed you, and you were there. I respect that.”

“I promised him I wouldn’t leave, and I intended to keep my promise.”

A booming laughter echoed into the kitchen. I felt a tug pull on my lips. I hadn’t heard that laughter before, only dreamt what it might sound like. But this laugh was so full of life and it had an unmistakable Irish twang to it. Niall’s laughter echoed into the room.

I walked out of the kitchen and into the den. Liam was sprawled out on the floor clutching his sides laughing along with Niall’s lively laughter. Harry was on the floor, his hands covering his head.

“What happened?”Louis asked walking up behind me

“H-Harry, h-he tripped and hit his arm on the t-table.” Niall stuttered in-between his laughter.

“Oh Haz.” Louis walked over, picking Harry up off the floor and pulling him out of the room.

“Careful Niall, remember what the doctor said.” I said placing a hand on Niall’s shaking shoulders.

“I know it was just the timing that made it funny.” Niall said as his laughter turned into giggles, slowing down to a stop.

“It’s good to hear your laugh though.” I smiled at Niall. He smiled back a smile full of pure and unmistakable joy.

~*~

The rain had started a little after Niall and I had returned home. The house had gone from loud to quiet. We all sat around, sipping on tea, wrapped up in blankets.

It was nice having it quiet. Everyone was wrapped up in their own thoughts. There was no tension; it was just a nice, quiet time.

“You know, I know how I ended up here, but I don’t know about how you all ended up here.” Niall said as he leaned his head against my side.

“What do you mean?” Liam asked

“Like what happened to you all?”

Harry shifted in his seat. He was sat under a blanket with Louis. He looked at Niall, then at me, then at the others.

“Well I was the first one I guess.” Harry said. Niall turned to look at Harry, waiting for him to explain. “I guess you could say I was almost murdered, but it was more like an accidental murder. I don’t know if they intended to kill me. But I’m not dead so it’s all good.”

“What happened? Like what caused it all and like what did you do?” Niall asked curiously

“Um, well it was just bulling. People didn’t like me so they harassed me nonstop. It was really awful to. I had never heard such horrible words before, but people called me tons of names. It was really, really bad. They’d beat me too. I don’t know why they did it, they just did. But because of the bulling, I ended up self-harming.” Harry pulled his arms out of the blanket, pulling his sleeves up to show the scars on his arms “I never liked doing it, but it was the only thing that I could control. I hated everything that happened. They had threatened me before, but I never knew they would kill me. But I guess anything can happen. But Zayn stopped them. He won’t admit it, but he’s kinda like a superhero.”

I watched everyone else’s reactions to Harry’s story. Liam already knew about Harry’s past, so he seemed less surprised, but he still looked pale when he saw the scars on Harry’s wrists. Louis was stiff in his spot. I watched as he wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Niall seemed surprised also. He always saw Harry as an excitable, happy person, not someone with a past of self-injury and beatings.

“And I suppose, I’m next.” We turned to Liam. “You overheard my story, but Louis and Harry, you haven’t heard it. So I guess I was going to commit suicide. I was bullied as well. It was a lot of beatings and harassment. But the part that bothered me was the people who did these.” Liam lifted his shirt to reveal the scared words on his stomach, “People thought that I would get the message that they hated me and that I was worthless and stupid if they carved the words into my skin.

“Different people did these. I don’t understand why they did it though. Like what would motive them to cutting words into my skin. But whatever, they got the message across. So I was going to take their advice and end my life. I planned to jump in front of a train. I was going to. I even made it on the tracks. Then Zayn tackled me, holding me down as the train rode over us. He saved me; that’s for sure.”

Louis and Harry looked about ready to lose their stomachs. They were green in complexion when Liam showed the scars on his stomach.

“And then Zayn stopped me, well actually Liam did, but yeah I guess I’m next.” Louis began speaking “To be honest, I don’t know if I was committing suicide, or was being persuaded to end my life. That part is a bit fuzzy, but I was going to die either way.

“I guess I started when I was drunk. That’s nothing new though, I always get into trouble when I’m drunk. I was at a party when I bummed into some guy. At the time, I thought he was just another drunk guy, so I thought it would be fun to pick a fight with him. That was a really bad idea. He’s a member of a gang in Doncaster. The gang’s called The Brothers. Weird but whatever, they were horrible. Whenever something went wrong, it was always them that did it. But they were so good at covering their tracks that they never got caught.

“Anyway, all I did was shove the guy. I thought he would hit me back, but he didn’t. He grabbed my arms and pulled me into one of the rooms in the house where the party was at. I was so drunk I didn’t know what was happening. H-he raped me. He forced me to have sex with him. It hurt so badly. He just did it and then left.  The next day I tried to remember what the guy looked like, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t remember who he was.

“A week or so passed and I still couldn’t remember. I was walking home from work when I was grabbed and pulled into an alley. The guy was there. When I saw him, I remembered everything that happened. He was with other people. They raped me again, in the alley way. They all took turns. I was left in a crumpled heap on the ground. Before they left, they told me not to report them, or they would kill me and my family. So I didn’t. I didn’t say anything. I was so afraid to go anywhere after that, but no matter where I went, one of the gang members was there. I was raped over and over so many times I can’t even remember.

“The day I was going to die I guess, they pulled me off the street and made me watch the horse races with them. They told me to jump of the ledge. They said if I survived, they would leave me and my family alone. I didn’t think I would have died. But the idea of it the torment stopping sounded good enough for me. So I was going to jump, but Liam tackled me. We fell off the ledge, but we lived. I was glad that I was alive, but so fucking terrified of what The Brothers would do. So Zayn took me back with him. He got me away from it all. And I really thank you for that.”

Now that, I didn’t see coming. I hadn’t heard Louis’ story, so that was very surprising to hear.

“Wow, I’m really sorry you all had to go through that.” Niall said, looking at each of the boys.

“Well, what happened with you?” Harry asked.

Niall looked at him, his eyes softened a bit when his blue eyes met Harry’s innocent green ones.

“I guess I can tell you. So basically, my life has been shit from day one. My parents never cared about me. They are alcoholics so they just want to drink all the time. Mum is addicted to drugs. I think she takes heroin, I don’t really know. She would get really bad when she was high. She would beat me a lot and if I fought back, Dad would beat me because I was being ‘rude’ to my mother. So I learned to take Mum’s beatings so I wouldn’t have one from Dad.

“At school, I was harassed a lot. Every day I would be beat up. More occasions than once, I would leave a fight with a black eye. One time, a beating was really bad. They broke my ankle. When I finally got home, my parents didn’t care. They didn’t take me to the emergency room or anything, they just got drunk. I had to make a makeshift cast until I could figure out how to get to the hospital. By the time I did, my bones were healing and they had to break my ankle to a-line the bones. When I got home and Dad saw the cast, he broke my arm saying I needed to learn to take a punch for change.

“When I was about 7 or 8, my uncle began molesting me. I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t understand it. But he did it anyway. Whenever he was over at our house, he would do it. It was such a common occurrence. My parents knew, but they didn’t care. Eventually, it turned into him raping me once I was older. If I made any noise, he would burn my back with a lighter. He overdosed a few years ago so thankfully, that stopped. But I still have the scars.

“Parents are supposed to keep you safe, not watch you suffer. When there isn’t enough to eat, most parents would feed their child before themselves. Not my parents, they ate the food and left me to starve. I learned how to find food in the garbage when I was younger just to survive.

“As I grew older, things just got worse. The beatings were worse. If Mum didn’t have enough money for her drug dealer, she would sell my body to him for sex. My own mother sold me for sex just so she could get high. What kind of mother does that? Dad started hating me because he lost his job. He said it was my fault. He would hit me a lot.

“About 3 or 4 months ago, I decided I wanted to end it all. That’s when I became suicidal. I wanted to die just to end all of it. I tried over and over again. But it always failed. The only time Mum actually cared about me was when I slit my wrists in the bathtub. She was sober for a change and called the ambulance. Once they fixed me up, and I was allowed to go home, I was beat to the point of unconsciousness for doing such a thing.

“When I decided to shoot myself, I felt so dead inside. Nothing was good in my life. I hated everything. All I wanted was to die.” Niall grew quiet, tucking himself into a tight little ball. I put my arm around him, rubbing his back.

No one said anything. There was nothing that could be said to make what happened to Niall any better. Niall didn’t deserve any of that. No child should _ever_ have to go through the stuff he did.

I wouldn’t let these boys live that way. I won’t let them return to that. They all deserve better. And I intend to give them the life they ought to have.


	17. Chapter 17

The night air was chilly and damp. Rain droplets fell from the tree onto the soggy ground. It was quiet, only the dripping of the remaining rain droplets making a sound. It was sometime around 2 in the morning. Everyone was asleep as far as I was aware. I couldn’t sleep. When I have trouble sleeping, I would always sit outside, watching the stars or the rain as it pattered down from the sky. It was a habit I’ve had since I was young. Mum would always bring me outside when it rained, she said it helped sooth me to sleep.

I missed her a lot. I didn’t like how I would no longer see her smile, or hear her laugh. I still feel awful for how it all ended. I had no answers. I leaned back against the lawn chair, looking up toward the gloomy sky.

I felt it again. It was the creeping, tingling sensation at the back of my eyes. The nagging feeling of an oncoming vision. I thought they were done with, but I guess I was wrong. The edges of my vision faded, turning into black, sucking me deeper into the vision.

_It was dark and then everything turned white. It was bright, like to the point where it would hurt your eyes, but the feeling was warming and inviting, comforting in a way. There was a lone bench in the middle of wherever it was I was currently at. I had no idea where I was. I walked over and sat on the bench. I felt like that was what I was supposed to do._

_This wasn’t like the other visions I’ve had. This wasn’t filled with pain and death. Instead, it felt oddly peaceful._

_“Hi Zayn.”_

_I knew that voice anywhere. I turned to see the soft smile of my mother. She was absolutely glowing._

_“Mum.” I was shocked to say the least._

_“Are you doing alright?” Leave it to Mum to worry about me even when she’s gone._

_“I’m fine. I miss you though. Why did you do it?” I asked quietly_

_Mum looked at me, her eyes never looking sad. “Oh Zayn I miss you too. But I had to do it. It was going to happen eventually anyway.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I’ve always known you were special Zayn. You’ve always had a gift. However, you did receive the gift much earlier than others. But you didn’t shy away from it. You embraced what you were given and helped those that you saw. I’m proud of you. You weren’t nearly as afraid of the visions as I was.”_

_“Wait, you mean… you knew.”_

_“Of course I knew honey. I’m your mum; I always know what’s going on. I had the visions too. When I was much younger, around 19 or 20 is when they first started. I was so afraid of them. I learned to suppress them. But you, you Zayn did what you were supposed to do. You took this gift of sight and turned it into something so much more. You’ve helped more people than you know.”_

_“Why are you telling me this now?”_

_“Because it was time for me to tell you.”_

_“But why did you do it? Why did you leave me Mum?”_

_“I did it to make you stronger. I knew you struggled with the things you saw. I watched as you would suffer. I knew it hurt you to see all the visions. I saw what you saw. I knew everything that would happen. We were interconnected in a way. But I would also see the results. I saw you save everyone. I knew you could do it. I knew my own death would hurt you, but it made you so much stronger. Just wait, you’ll see.”_

_“Mum, you’re not making any sense.”_

_“Nothing in this world makes sense love.”_

_I watched as Mum’s figure began to fade. She was leaving me again._

_“Please don’t go.”_

_“I have to. Just know this Zayn; what you are doing is right. I’m so, so proud of you. I love you more than anything Zayn. I always will. Stay strong. I will see you again someday. Goodbye for now love.”_

I opened my eyes. Nothing hurt. It wasn’t like when I awoke from my previous visions, this one seemed natural. I still was confused, but I was oddly at peace with everything. Maybe Mum was right, maybe I was doing things right.

I heard a knock by the backdoor. I turned around to see Niall looking at me. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Wha’ you doing?” He mumbled.

I laughed quietly. I opened my arms out. Niall understood the message; he walked over and sat down beside me, curling up into my arms.

“I couldn’t sleep. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I started thinking.” He grumbled into my neck.

“Don’t do that, it’s too late for that.”

“Yeah well tell that to my head.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“What would have happened if you hadn’t stopped me?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

We were quiet. Niall’s breathing had slowed to the point where I thought he had dozed off.

“I’m glad you saved me.” he mumbled quietly.

“Me too.” I rubbed circles into Niall’s back, watching as his eyes fluttered shut.

“I just didn’t realize it at the time. When I was so dead set of killing myself, I didn’t think about other options. I should have known that there was other ways out, but I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. You had ever right to be confused, you shouldn’t have had to deal with that anyway.”

“Yeah but still. I just… I just can’t believe I almost did that.”

“Don’t even worry about it Niall. It’s the past. You have a whole future ahead of you. Look towards that instead.”

“I guess.”

We sat watching the stars, listening to the dripping of the rain.

“Hey Zayn?”

“Hmm?”

Niall lifted his head off my chest. He looked up at me, his bright blue eyes gleaming with a mix of drowsiness and happiness.

“Thank you.” He whispered so quietly. He brushed his lips against mine, kissing me gently.

~*~

In a short amount of time, my life changed dramatically. I was thrown into a world of confusion and death. From the vision of my neighbor being murdered, I knew that I had to do something with my visions. I needed to make sure people did not lose their lives.

Every life is precious. Everyone deserves to live. No one should have the right to take another person’s life. Those people that feel the world would be better off without them, they are wrong. They are oh so wrong.

People in this world deserve to live and to be shown love. People need to see that life is worth living. No matter how shity life can get, things will always get better. Even if you hit rock bottom, things can only get better. The best is always yet to come. Nothing bad will last forever.

I’ve meet people when they were at their lowest points in their life. I watched as these people, who once thought death would be a better option, rise up out of their darkness. They have made it through the trouble and the pain.

Every life if worth living. Don’t waste your life. Don’t let other’s tell you that you are worthless. You are worth so much more than what they think. Live your life for you.

I am Zayn Malik and this was my story of overcoming fear and helping others see that every life is beautiful. I once thought of the people in my visions as the lost souls, but they are more than that, they are souls who are looking to been found.


End file.
